Odds & Ends From Around the Valley : The Gauche Patrol

If you’re as appalled as we are by platform shoes, flower-print jeans and safari wear, you may appreciate the following update on the out-of-date.

The verdict for women: That baggy, slouched-over-the-hip look is OUT for casual tops. “An ill-fitting look is out-of-date,” declares Gary Ross, co-owner of Raffles on Ventura Boulevard in Encino. “Clothes fit closer to the body now.”

Also headed for the trash heap: women’s casual clothes with any kind of beading or metallics or suede gewgaws hanging off the shoulders. According to Maureen Norton, general manager of Jona in Studio City: “A much more pared down, cleaner look is in style now. We’re steering away from the glitzy look.”

Men should bid adieu to collegiate plaids, shirts with stiff collars and unconstructed jackets, Cohen says. And this season, son, your mother is right: You do need to wear a pair of socks with your shoes.

Don’t be too disappointed if most of your wardrobe falls into the fashion-taboo category. Just think of it as a mandate to go shopping.

Getting the Slang of It

You can be dudeical (DUDE-eh-kal) or you can be a goober. In other words, you’re either hellacool or a dweeb.

Confused? To get it straight, you may want to refer to “The Thesaurus of Slang” by Esther and Albert E. Lewin of Sherman Oaks. Recently published by Facts on File, it can be found in the reference section of many local libraries in the San Fernando Valley.

“Most slang sticks around for quite a bit of time. It’s generational,” Albert Lewin says. “The slang you grew up with stays with you.”

Teen-agers invent the most new slang words. “Every time we saw a teen-ager, we’d ask them what was new in the language,” Esther Lewin says. “If several different kids told us the same new word, we’d know it was general slang, not just particular to one high school.”

So . . . a computer nerd is a propeller head. And college admissions offices (as well as executive headhunters) engage in “creaming”--looking for the cream of the crop.

Because Michael Jackson has confused us over whether “bad” means what it says or means good, it might be easier to describe something as bunk, bald or burnt if it’s awful. Or raw, fresh, killer or aggro if it’s good.

And if you’re having a good time with all of this, you’re kicking it.

Cool.

The Days of Wine Are Over?

Kids and lemonade.

Men and beer.

Women and white wine.

Well, two out of three isn’t bad. But that last pair is on the verge of a breakup, according to the men and women who set ‘em up across the Valley.

“White wine for women is passe,” says bartender Eileen Schriver at Residuals, a bar in Studio City frequented by members of the entertainment industry. “Women are getting brave.”

Schriver’s female customers are more apt to order Jack Daniels with Coke or vodka drinks.

Vodka seems to be a hot contender for the preferred choice. Bartender Roger Nehls at L’Express Restaurant in Sherman Oaks mixes a number of vodka drinks with juices for female patrons. White Russians--a blend of vodka, Kahlua and milk--are top sellers at Executive Suite in Northridge. And Tom Shortley, manager of Manhattan Coolers in Sherman Oaks, says women frequently ask for vodka by brand name.

A few watering holes north of the Santa Monica Mountains report that their female customers prefer beer--light beer. What’s more, many women at Rumors in North Hollywood follow that light beer with a high-calorie Schnapps shooter.

Whatever happened to pretzels?

Accidental Intersections

If you’ve been moaning about having “one of those days,” then do the rest of us a favor by avoiding the five intersections in the Valley that top the “most accidents” list. According to George Callandrillo of the Los Angeles Police Department’s traffic coordination section, they are:

* Sepulveda Boulevard and Nordhoff Street.

* Victory Boulevard and Winnetka Avenue.

* Sepulveda and Vanowen Street.

* Balboa Boulevard and Parthenia Street.

* Laurel Canyon Boulevard and Sherman Way.

You might want to consider rerouting to Ventura Boulevard, where perpetual gridlock makes it more likely that your mood--rather than your car--will be wrecked.

Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow

Believe it or not, you’d probably trust an “evil genius for a better tomorrow” to baby-sit your kids or feed your dogs or date your daughter.

In spite of the name, the evil geniuses are on the side of good. More specifically, they are a Van Nuys High School club of students dedicated to tutoring their peers on a one-on-one basis during lunch hour in traditional subjects as well as in more advanced ones, such as calculus, physics and computer programming.

Seniors Darren Kessner, Christopher Alexander, Robert Maeda, Christopher Paul and Jeff Robbins formed the club this past school year, motivated by a desire to do something together that would leave a positive mark on the school. The number of students taking advantage of their offer fluctuates, but co-founder Kessner notes that every day he is approached by one or two students requesting help.

Although the club’s name was cribbed from a board game, the evil geniuses are quite original in the way they’ve organized themselves. “The club has five presidents, about 20 vice presidents and one member,” Kessner says.

Obviously the evil geniuses need no tutoring in the art of corporate bureaucracy.

Overheard at . . .

“It almost seems as if these should be packaged in a beaker.”

--Woman reading ingredients list on Doritos bag at Gelson’s in Encino.

This is the first in a series of columns that will spotlight life-style trends in the San Fernando Valley area.