Indian Matchmakers Meeting Their Match in Newspaper Classifieds

NEW DELHI —  Newspaper advertisements and computers are replacing traditional matchmakers among the literate classes in India, where brides and grooms rarely choose their own spouses.

Every Sunday the newspapers are filled with classified ads inviting inquiries about “smart, well-educated, professional boys” and “really beautiful, homely, university graduate girls.”

“Homely,” in Indian matrimonial ad English, means someone who would make a good wife, mother and housekeeper.

It did not seem odd to Saswati, a 28-year-old executive in a multinational firm, that her parents inserted a classified ad to find her a husband.

‘A Wider Choice’

“They asked if I had someone in mind I wanted to marry,” Saswati said, insisting that her last name not be used. “When I said no, they proposed an advertisement in the newspaper. Frankly, I had no objections. It gave me a wider choice.”

“There was a special caste of matchmakers in earlier times, called ‘ghataks,’ ” said Arati Srimal, a social scientist. “They were welcomed, respected and given pride of place wherever they visited, because every household had someone eligible for matrimony.”

Annu Kurien, a sociologist who found her husband through the matrimonial columns, said: “The image of the matchmaker is so deeply ingrained in the minds of even modern urban Indian youth that when newspapers replaced the ‘ghatak’ as matchmaker, they assumed a popularity the ‘ghatak’ could not aspire for.”

The phenomenon is not confined to Indians in the country.

Sanjit, a 34-year-old engineer who recently visited New Delhi, has lived in the United States since he was 12.

‘Alliance Invited’

His family received 103 responses when they inserted this ad in The Times of India: “Alliance invited for smart, Bengali Hindu engineer, 34, 185 cms (6 feet), settled in the United States, music addict, no encumbrances.”

Sanjit’s family narrowed the list to seven and started negotiations, writing or calling families of the women.

Sanjit, who also didn’t want his last name used, said he hopes his family will find the right woman so he can get married when he returns to India in six months.

“Parents of Indians abroad seek Indian spouses for their children in a bid to retain traditional values and roots,” said O. P. Sharma, chief of advertisements at the Hindustan Times, a conservative English-language newspaper famous for carrying the most matrimonial columns.

“The Hindustan Times was the first newspaper in north India to begin carrying matrimonials in the early 1970s,” Sharma said. “We now run over 4,500 such advertisements a month, and the number is increasing. Very few advertisements are repeated, an indication that the success rate is high.”

48% of Revenue

The Hindustan Times charges 6 rupees (37 cents) a word for matrimonials and gets 48% of its classified advertising revenue from them, Sharma said.

“Monthly, this means an income of approximately 1.2 million rupees ($80,000),” Sharma said.

The Hindustan Times also runs a computerized matchmaking service called “Life Partners,” which is offered free to advertisers.

Names rarely appear in the ads, and most advertisers receive their answers in special mailboxes at the newspapers.

An advertising executive at The Times of India, which runs about 2,000 matrimonials a month, said the number of responses varies from one to hundreds.

“Non-resident Indians and green card (U.S. work permit) holders attract a greater number of people,” said Narayani Mantoo.

95% From Cities

“The phenomenon of matrimonial advertisements is predominantly urban,” she added. “More than 95% of our clients come from cities.”

Cities have the highest concentrations of newspaper readers in a country where about 43% of the 880 million people are literate. Most of the ads are placed by Hindus, who account for 80% of the population, but Sikhs, Christians and Muslims use them as well.

A social scientist interpreted the phenomenon of matrimonial advertisements as a sign that urban Indian society was in transition but unable to cast off deeply ingrained cultural customs.

“The disintegration in the traditional joint family framework brought around, perforce, a more impersonal, unitary concept of family,” said Manisha Bahl at the Center for Women’s Development Studies.

“Personal contacts have been replaced by the impersonal advertisement in a newspaper or agency to bring about the desired union,” she said.