Pre-Sweep Sweeps . . . The Other Monday Night Game

TV or not TV. . . .

THE PRE-SWEEP SWEEPS: What is this? The February sweeps are three weeks off, so why the big blockbusters of the last few days--NBC’s “Drug Wars: The Camarena Story,” which ends tonight, and ABC’s “Rock Hudson” drama, about the gay actor who died of AIDS? Well, football, of all things, had something to do with it. Take last night’s Hudson story. “We have to establish with viewers,” says an ABC spokesman, “that we have a Monday night movie franchise now that Monday night pro football is over. And you want to come out of the box with something you hope will draw an audience.”

OK. But what about “Drug Wars”? Well, Warren Littlefield, boss of NBC prime time, says “we did look” at the college bowl and pro playoff games as “good vehicles for promotion” because of what another executive at the network called “the heavy male appeal” of the Camarena story. Remember, NBC had the late playoff game Sunday between Denver and Pittsburgh, which ended shortly before the first segment of “Drug Wars.” And Monday night’s head-on clash between the second “Drug Wars” segment and “Rock Hudson” was a major brawl for the network movie audience as NBC challenged ABC for the viewers now up for grabs with the end of “Monday Night Football.”

Fear was another factor in scheduling the Hudson and Camarena tales in the less-critical January ratings period, network executives say. “There are lots of people who don’t want to see that side of Hudson,” said an official of an opposing network before the ABC show aired. And Littlefield, asked why “Drug Wars” wasn’t held for the February sweeps, replied: “Fear. It’s different from your normal miniseries fare. You can do extremely well--or poorly--if you’re different.” Littlefield also said NBC “is trying to compete on a year-round basis as we head into the ‘90s, with less lie-down time.”

It’s understandable that some people would get the willies over a TV version of the Hudson case. But in one sense, it’s a uniquely fitting story for TV because it was on the tube, in the most shocking moment of “Dynasty,” that we first saw the signs of his startling physical collapse, wondered what it was--and then were stunned into the reality of this little-known disease for which Hudson became the most visual symbol.

January will continue to be a lively pre-sweeps month. Next Monday, ABC offers Jill Clayburgh in the child abuse drama “Unspeakable Acts.” On Jan. 21, ABC also has Michael Caine and Cheryl Ladd in “Jekyll and Hyde.” And Jan. 23, CBS airs a tale of neo-Nazism, “So Proudly We Hail,” with David Soul.

SLEEPING ‘BEAUTY’: You really weren’t surprised that CBS killed “Beauty and the Beast,” were you? Same pattern as with “Frank’s Place”--yank it, bring it back with praise to appease protests, then give it the ax. But worry not. CBS is stepping up in class, replacing the poetic “Beauty and the Beast” with “Grand Slam,” starring Paul Rodriguez and John Schneider (of that other CBS classic, “The Dukes of Hazzard”) as modern-day bounty hunters employed by bail bondsmen. And, oh yes, “Beauty and the Beast” will be cut off in mid-story Jan. 24, with its planned, 12-episode plot-line--or arc--incompleted, and with three episodes dangling as leftovers.

FROM THE HEARTLAND: Dorothy Swanson, head of the national grass-roots organization Viewers for Quality Television, leveled a withering blast at CBS for its “Beauty and the Beast” decision. Also citing the canceled “Frank’s Place” and “The Equalizer,” she said: “CBS has insulted the loyal viewer once again, and viewers will be forced to look elsewhere for programs of quality. . . . CBS owes those viewers the full arc of whatever was filmed. To have changed a show as radically as CBS changed ‘Beauty and the Beast,’ and then cancel it before it has a chance to convince its old audience or attract a new one, is grossly unfair. We’re disappointed at this.”

GOING IN STYLE: As I say, why be so hard on CBS? Not only is it giving us “Grand Slam” instead of “Beauty and the Beast,” it’s also--hold your breath--bringing back “The Brady Bunch” as a regular series. Well, it will be updated: It’ll be called “The Bradys” instead of “The Brady Bunch.” And in the interests of doubling TV quality time, each episode will run an hour instead of the mere 30 minutes that were good enough before.

MORE GOOD NEWS: CBS is sidelining “Murphy Brown,” “Designing Women” and “Newhart” to make room for the two-hour special “The Love Boat: A Valentine Voyage” on Feb. 12. No word yet on whether “The Love Boat” will be brought back as a regular series, too.

COMEBACK: “Frank’s Place” admirers, and those who missed it the first time around, can catch the show in reruns starting Jan. 22. Where? On cable, of course--the new safe house for canceled network series. For “Frank’s Place,” it’s the Black Entertainment Television cable service.

BOOKSHELF: You remember reading. Well, the complete scripts of Steve Allen’s great PBS series, “Meeting of Minds”--enactments of dialogues with historical figures--are available in a four-volume paperback set. The publisher is Prometheus Books, 700 E. Amherst St., Buffalo, N.Y. 14215. Phone: (800) 421-0351.

NEW YEAR’S HANGOVER: Right in the middle of the Larry McCormick-Minerva Perez news on KTLA Channel 5 Saturday night, an ad popped on saying Sportmart would be open from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. New Year’s Day. Nothing like planning ahead.

Say good night, Gracie. . . .