What’s Yup? Reading All About Saving the Earth

Earth Day’s a-comin’, and I can hardly wait. Scratch a yuppie these days and you’ll find a greenie.

I’m greening as fast as I can. I’ve read--this is for real--”100 Ways to Save the Earth,” “750 Everyday Ways You Can Help Clean Up the Earth” and “The Solution to Pollution: 101 Things You Can Do to Clean Up Your Environment.” Not to mention the by-now classic “50 Simple Things You Can Do to Save the Earth,”

I’ve already started drinking out of a mug instead of a plastic cup. That leaves me with only another 1,000 things to do.

My husband read that you can help save Earth by snipping the plastic rings that come with six-packs of beer. He’s trying to drink at least one six-pack a day to help save the Earth.

But he’s developed a bad case of Ecologist’s Thumb from trying to rip the plastic rings apart.

When Earth Day comes, I’m going to send him to the store to shop for a better world. I think I’ll just stay in bed with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Rainforest Crunch and a good book.

But what to choose from with so many good books from so many good authors pointing to so many good deeds? With 70-plus new titles coming out in time for Earth Day, even best-selling authors are becoming greenies.

Here’s a rundown on new fiction to save the Earth.

Danielle Steel has a new line of children’s ecology books. A sample from “Melissa Pitches In”:

Melissa came skipping up the steps of the mansion. “Mama, mama, did I get into Miss Giles’?”

“No,” I told her, “but there are lots of good kindergartens. Now, tell Nanny to start your shower. But don’t let it run for more than five minutes.”

Anne Rice, the gal with the ghouls, has a new book with an ecology theme, “Vegetarian Vampire.” I love the opening line:

She started to eat so low on the food chain that she began sucking blood from a turnip.

Everyone’s talking about Philip Roth’s new eco-love story written in the form of a dialogue between two people:

“I love the way you make love to me.”

“Paper or plastic?”

“My husband saw your wife today with your wife’s lover.”

“Paper or plastic?”

“Philip, are we talking condoms?”

The best-selling team that writes under the pseudonym Judith Michael is just out with “A Ruling Passion to Save Our Planet.” It’s about a poor girl who’s jealous of her friend’s rich husband, so she steals him away and moves into his estate. Then he leaves her. She has to start over again with nothing but her hair spray, which she discards, vowing:

“As God as my witness, I’ll never deplete the ozone again.”

Amy Tan is due out with another book of tales of a girl growing up in modern Chinatown:

Once a week the women would meet to play mah-jongg and talk of their joy, their sorrow and how putting a displacement bag in the tank can save you one to two gallons per flush.

And young Tama Janowitz is on the comeback trail with another coming-of-age novel. In it, she describes the lifestyle that seems to characterize urban youth in the ‘90s:

Everyone at the party was doing Coke. But they were recycling the cans.

It’s wonderful that people are starting to sense the urgency of the need to read about how to save the planet. So many books, so little time.