Vintage Election Advice: Drink Up, and Then Vote for the Opposition

The Great State of California is now engaged in a campaign to elect a governor, and newspapers are choosing up sides.

The same was true in 1853 when a scamp from San Diego history named George Horatio Derby, a.k.a. John Phoenix and Squibob, decided to have some sport.

Derby was an Army lieutenant and topographical engineer who had been sent to San Diego to tame the ever-flooding San Diego River. He also wrote satire for the San Diego Herald, whose editor, Judson Ames, was a loyal Democrat.

When Ames left for San Francisco (to hustle advertising) during the gubernatorial campaign, Derby decided to bring some ants to the picnic.

Ames stoutly favored the reelection of his friend and patron, Gov. John Bigler. Derby was a reformist Whig and two-fisted iconoclast.

As soon as Ames set sail, Derby endorsed the entire Whig ticket, headed by William Waldo. Derby called it the Phoenix Independent Ticket and warned of perdition if it lost.

He also provided guidance on how voters should select their candidates, wisdom as good today as then:

“The man who seeks your vote for any office by furnishing you with whiskey, gratis, and credit at his little shop is by no means calculated to be either a good maker or dispenser of the laws.

“Drink his whiskey by all means, if you like it and he invites you, but make him no pledges and on the day of election, vote any other ticket than that he gives you.”

Bigler won the election but Waldo carried San Diego County. Derby laughed and moved on.

The tale is told in the just-published “Squibob: An Early California Humorist,” edited by Derby descendant Richard Derby Reynolds, himself a onetime San Diego muckraker.

Legend has it that copies of the Herald carrying Derby’s political advice were ordered by the state asylum for the insane in Stockton for its patient waiting rooms.

Which sounds like a story that is true whether it happened or not.

Bumper to Bumper

Everywhere you look.

* Santee City Council candidate Rick White says his city suffers from “jackass traffic.”

Translation: Wandering roads, stubborn planners.

* Bard be bad.

The Poway Center for the Performing Arts opened its 1990-91 season Saturday night with an abridged/slightly askew rendering by the spoof-loving Reduced Shakespeare Company of Los Angeles.

One highlight was “Titus Andronicus,” normally a macabre story of children murdered and served as dinner to their parents.

This time it was done as a cooking show: “Finger lickin’ good.”

Conclusion: There is no accounting for taste.

* Activism is where you find it.

Rancho Santa Fe residents are sorely upset at the sight of historic buildings in their woodsy community being destroyed in the name of progress.

Phyllis Paul says they’ve not yet gotten to the stage of laying down in front of bulldozers but are beginning to fight back, Rancho Santa Fe style:

A fund-raising cocktail party is set for Oct. 24 at the Rancho Santa Fe Farms Golf Club.

* Graffiti is appearing on trees in downtown San Diego. Trees.

To the Selectors Go the Spoils

There’s the rub.

Members of the Republican site selection committee for the 1992 national convention were treated like visiting royalty last week in San Diego: stretch limousines, banquets, a reception at the mayor’s home in Point Loma, comfy rooms at the Meridien Hotel in Coronado, T-shirts, Charger hats, etc.

But if the personal touch is important, Houston may still have an edge.

When the Republicans went to Houston, they were treated to free masseuse services. Free haircuts, manicures and pedicures, too.