L.A. is out of manhole covers. No,...

L.A. is out of manhole covers. No, they weren’t stolen again, only renamed.

They’re now maintenance hole covers-- by executive order of Mayor Tom Bradley. His Honor issued a directive Friday that banned the use of “sexist words” in all official reports. Bradley also decreed that people or humanity must be substituted for “mankind” (or, we presume, “dudes”) and staffed should be used instead of “manned,” and husband and wife instead of “man and wife.”

Incidentally, Sacramento recently held a contest to rename manholes and also came up with maintenance holes. We think L.A. could have made a more dynamic choice, perhaps a rhyme that would emphasize the city’s artsy side--sewer-viewer, for example--or an expression that spoke of its cosmopolitan nature, perhaps, le hole.

But we’ll leave the final judgment up to history, or herstory.

Living in Brentwood isn’t as easy as you might think. One gripe of residents in that posh community is that their mail is often delivered to the city of Brentwood in Contra Costa County, 350 miles to the north.

“We’ve gotten letters for Sylvester Stallone, Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson, Betty White, George Carlin, Marcus Allen, James Garner, Harrison Ford and Madonna,” said Laura de Concepcion, a postal official there.

Usually the problem is that the sender has confused Brentwood North’s Zip code (95413) for Brentwood South’s (90049), or just assumed that any letter addressed to Brentwood will be delivered to Southern California.

Concepcion said that her Brentwood even received a mis-addressed letter “for President Reagan, because he has a ranch down there somewhere.”

Brentwood--where the buffalo roam.

The Administration Building at Banning High is painted a shade of not-so-exciting “L.A. city school yellow,” in the words of art teacher Barbara Kneafsey. So, to spruce it up a bit, she enlisted the aid of Joseph Acuna, Daetrice Stallworth, Sandra Perez and several other students at the Wilmington school. Drawing on Mayan and Aztec cultures, they created some directional signs for the building that entertain as well as direct.

Stanley Asada of Monterey Park calls it a happy coincidence that press liaisons for local fire departments wear hats that say “PIO.” Not only is it an acronym for “Press Information Officer,” but pio means “ ‘to extinguish’ (as one does with fire) in Hawaiian.

Daniel Weitzman points out in California magazine that there are a few differences between our Hollywood Boulevard and the one in Orlando, Fla., at the Disney-MGM Studio Theme Park. It’s billed as “Hollywood Boulevard as you’ve always imagined it to be.” Wrote Weitzman: “The Hollywood Boulevard I grew up on doesn’t charge admission.” In contrast, Disney charges $31.

Not only that, but we understand that Disney’s Hollywood Boulevard doesn’t feature a single motorcycle outlaw playing on the sidewalk.

Have you driven your aura, lately?

Ford--Middle-America Ford--has a TV commercial declaring that it’s the car for people who don’t want the “same old thing.” Then it flashes a shot of Harry Parry, Venice’s famous turbaned, guitar-playing roller skater.

Isuzu, meanwhile, has come out with an ad consisting of a fictional interview with a Venetian who says she bought that model because it has “more room for our auras.”

miscelLAny:

Certainly it was not meant as a reflection on USC, but before 1970, the LAPD’s Southwest Division was called the University Division.