Jockeys Would Rather Endure a Bronx Cheer

Andrew Beyer, the Washington Post’s horse racing reporter, recently wrote from Bathurst, Australia, about the joys of country racing Down Under.

Beyer described “picnic races,” informal events where the crowds and the purses seldom exceed four figures.

Two of Beyer’s favorite tracks:

“At Tumbarumba, there is such a deep dip in the backstretch that the horses go out of view for an eighth of a mile and, it is said, jockeys have been known to switch horses while they are out of public view. At Tambo Valley, the race course is a sheep farm 364 days a year, and bettors traditionally hurl sheep dung at the jockey who comes in last.”

Add racing: Beyer described the difficult weather conditions at one track in the Outback:

“At Carrathool, the prize for winning a feature race was a cassette player, but while it was on display in the winner’s circle, pending the award, it melted. Even so, the fans at Carrathool know better than to pray for rain to cool them off. One year, it rained suddenly and turned the grounds into such deep mud that everybody’s car was stuck for two days. Of course, that was just an excuse for a prolonged party.”

Trivia time: On Jan. 3, 1931, who scored two goals four seconds apart for the Montreal Maroons in the third period of a 5-3 victory over the Boston Bruins?

Rotisserie robot: Dave Roos of the Louisville Courier-Journal recently chided Harvey Laney of Gannett News Service for writing:

“Cleveland point guard Mark Price went down the other day, out for the season, thanks to a torn anterior cruciate ligament. This, of course, was great news--provided you weren’t the unfortunate soul in your fantasy league who owned Price.”

Wrote Roos: “And provided you weren’t Mark Price.”

Nice math, too: In a recent California Department of Fish and Game poll, 1,000 respondents were asked, among other questions: “Do you have any guns of any kind in your home?”

The Department reported that 39% said “yes,” 60% “no” . . . and 2% “don’t know.”

Click: Philadelphia Coach Buddy Ryan took part in a telephone conference with Washington area reporters Wednesday.

When they asked him if his failure to win a playoff game in four years as the Eagles’ coach put pressure on him, Ryan said: “No, it sure doesn’t. Most people haven’t been in the playoffs. When was the last time y’all were in the playoffs?”

Vito Stellino of the Baltimore Sun mentioned the Redskins’ success in 1987.

Said Ryan: “Yeah, they won a Super Bowl in 1987. What happened to them in ’88 and ‘89? You guys are full of bull. Gotta go, bye.”

Trivia answer: Nels Stewart.

Quotebook: Chi Chi Rodriguez, after shooting 12 under par to win the senior golf tournament in Las Vegas: “This has to be the first time a 12 beat an 11 in Las Vegas.”