High Life: A Weekly Forum For High School Students : TLC for Teen Moms-to-Be : Support: Under a program started this year, Big Sisters are there for girls at a time when they are often ostracized by those closest to them.

Teen-age pregnancy can divide families at a time when teens need their loved ones the most, forcing many of these kids to look elsewhere for help.

Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Orange County began a Teen Mom program this year to provide assistance to pregnant teens and young mothers. The girls are matched with specially trained and selected Big Sisters, who offer emotional support and companionship.

“Teen mothers generally are alienated from their family and peers, who aren’t dealing with the same things,” said Virginia Dunn, the program’s director. “The Big Sisters are generally very supportive of the girls. They are not judgmental, but provide friendship and support.”

Though the agency offers short-term counseling free of charge, Dunn said the matches help give the girls more personalized treatment.

“It’s really fun to have a Big Sister,” said Juana Perez, 17, who expects to give birth to her second child any day now. “Sometimes I can get away, for a little while, from all the stress with my friend.”

Perez, who lives in Orange, was referred to Big Brothers/Big Sisters two years ago by a teacher after the birth of her son, Steven.

She said she was not on speaking terms with her mother during the first pregnancy but that they get along fine now.

Meta Ware, Perez’s Big Sister, said the intention of the program is not for the Big Sisters to play “fairy godmother” and assume control of the girls’ lives. Ware, 28 and a Huntington Beach resident, said her role is to show Perez the possibilities of what she can do with her life.

“I want to help her see all the opportunities out there and (show her) that she can still strive for goals for herself,” said Ware, an apartment manager. “My job is pretty important, but it doesn’t have any real meaning. I wanted to do something for someone else.”

The two talk at least once a week and get together whenever they can.

“If I was 17 and had kids, I don’t know what I’d do,” Ware said. “I am amazed at Juana’s maturity and how she handles the responsibility.”

Ware said it’s good for Perez to get away to relax and explore new activities, such as a symphony or a baseball game.

She recalled an outing they took to Long Beach.

“We saw the Queen Mary and the Spruce Goose and walked around the harbor for the day,” Ware said. “We had a lot of fun.” She described Perez and her as being “real good friends.”

“She’s giving a lot to me, too,” Ware said. “I enjoy being with her, and I get all messed up and miss her when we can’t spend time together. I’ll be close with her as long as I know her.”

Another teen mother, Roxanne Porras, 18, said she’s been waiting seven months--since the birth of her son, Fred--to be matched with a Big Sister.

“I really need someone to be a Big Sister. Someone to teach me how to cook and sew, come over and talk, and help me take care of my baby,” said Porras of Anaheim.

There are 16 moms who are waiting for Big Sister candidates to complete the application process, which includes several interviews, a personality assessment, and fingerprinting, said Virginia Dunn, program director. The process can take from one to three months.

After she became pregnant, she said she lost touch with her friends and, like many girls in similar situations, wasn’t on speaking terms with her mother.

“Sometimes I don’t feel good about myself and I really need someone to talk to,” she said.

Case worker/counselor Noly Guardamondo said teen mothers need a lot more support than the younger children with whom the Big Brothers/Big Sisters usually work.

“They’re still growing up themselves and they have to deal with the responsibility of a baby,” Guardamondo said. “It’s kind of nice that they can reach out and know there is something extra for them.

“We want teen mothers to be aware that our program exists and give us a call.”

Teens can enroll in the program at any time during their pregnancies, and may participate even if they have given birth before joining the program. The Big Brothers/Big Sisters’ office in Tustin can be reached at (714) 544-7773.

Jennifer Leuer is a senior at Esperanza High School, where she is editor of Aztlan, the student newspaper.