One Magic Act Worked, Now Can He Turn Himself Into the Mayor?

Here and there.

* Loch David Crane, the magician-politician, is trying a new feat of legerdemain: Turning $450 into $5,000.

Crane, who would be mayor of San Diego, came up short on signatures on his nominating petition but convinced a judge to put him on the ballot anyway under the good-enough-for-government-work rule (“substantial compliance”).

“I fought the law and the law lost,” Crane said of his victory.

Still, the judge denied Crane the $450 in legal fees he was demanding from the city. Crane: “I think that was a rude thing to do.”

He’s not finished fighting though. He’s filed a $5,000 suit against the city in Small Claims Court: to include the $450, plus damages.

* John Witt is finishing up his 24th year as San Diego’s city attorney.

That explains reelection opponent Bruce Henderson’s campaign slogan: “24 and No More.”

* In the wake of the Susan Bray-Bob Spaulding scandal, city officials decided a housecleaning was needed at the Planning Department.

Now the finalists are being interviewed to succeed Spaulding as planning director. There are no in-house candidates.

* Even if the Robert Alton Harris execution has been postponed, an anti-death-penalty rally is set for 9 p.m. outside the state building in downtown San Diego.

Preceded by an interfaith service at 7:30 p.m. at the Cathedral Church of St. Paul (Episcopal).

Also, a woman in Point Loma is displaying an American flag with black streamers.

On the other hand, if the execution is on, there is talk of private “Harris parties” of death penalty believers who will stay up partying until Harris is dead.

* I like that North County attorney who says in his radio ads that he knows all his clients and actually meets with them!!

* The Donor Sperm Bank run by the USC School of Medicine is advertising in San Diego gay publications: “Parenthood Through Artificial Insemination.”

* San Diego license plate, on a 1988 Mercedes: BBOPALU.

Some People Didn’t Get the Joke

It’s the modern scenario.

First, the ha-ha, the reference, the overheard remark.

Then the response: Charging either outright bigotry (a felony) or at least insensitivity (misdemeanor).

Then the counter-response: What’samatterwithyou, can’t take a joke?

The latest comes from Bernardo Heights Middle School in Rancho Bernardo, which is looking to hire an assistant principal.

A group of teachers (anonymously) scribbled a note to the principal suggesting that the new assistant principal be a “one arm, black woman, naturalized American, who speaks Filipino and can sign with one hand.”

Plus, a veteran and an environmentally-correct bike rider and 7-foot volleyball player.

The note got loose and was read at a school board meeting. The Penasquitos News reports that the school board president “expressed shock and disbelief.”

Given his propensity for being shocked, one can only hope the board prez never hears rap music or Andrew Dice Clay (or real-life teen-agers talking). He could end up catatonic.

There was even talk that the note is proof positive that the school--indeed the entire district--is rife with bias.

The original note writers (still anonymous) have now circulated a second missive, defending the original effort as a “non-derogatory, no-putdown” joke meant to poke at the notion that an assistant vice principal has to be all things to all people.

Don’t look for me to adjudicate this. I’m still trying to figure out why white men can’t jump.

And Now, for a Bonus Story

A cartoon is popping up on bulletin boards in county government offices, where workers are being asked to take unpaid time off to help the county’s fiscal woes.

The cartoon shows the Big Boss being visited by hundreds of humble workers. The caption:

“Mr. Hickey, your quitting bonus is here, and to present it are the 209 clerks who volunteered one week off without pay to raise the money.”

(The number 209 is a rough calculation of how many clerk-typists would have to take a week off to compensate for Norman Hickey’s 67,500 payment.)