Un-enquiring minds: Dolores Walsh, owner of the...

Un-enquiring minds: Dolores Walsh, owner of the Godmother of Malibu Cafe, has started a drive to boycott the National Enquirer and other tabloids in that town to protect her celebrity neighbors.

“It would be a nice gift from the city of Malibu to our many celebrities here that have given so much,” Walsh said. “After all, they came here for peace and privacy.”

She recently wrote letters to about a dozen other outlets for the tabloids. So far, she says, one drugstore has pulled the scandal sheets from its shelves.

What about townsfolk interested in Hollywood dirt? “Let them go over the hill and buy it in Agoura,” Walsh said.

Must have been a Yugo: Walter Houk of Woodland Hills heard a car commercial in which the radio announcer warned: “These specially priced vehicles won’t last long.”

Gum humbug: Ah, for the days when gum chewing was one of the major problems facing the schools. It merited an article in the Nov. 5, 1912, edition of the old L.A. Examiner, where “physical training” expert Dr. Everett C. Beach gave these reasons why gum chewing should be avoided:

1--”It is not genteel and refined.”

2--”It causes indigestion and spoils the appetite.”

3--”It is unsanitary and unhealthful.”

4--”It is a commercial habit.”

5--”It is not a necessary habit.”

Dr. Beach obviously was not the namesake of Beechnut gum.

Trading card heroes: The U.S. Customs Canine Enforcement All-Stars have been announced and two pooches from the agency’s L.A. office, B.J. and Rees, have made the team. Each boasts impressive stats on the back of their newly issued cards.

Reese, age 7, aided in one seizure of 400 pounds of cocaine, while B.J.’s greatest performance was helping effect a 618-pound seizure of cocaine. The cards, sponsored by Milk-Bone Dog Biscuits, will be distributed to schoolchildren as an anti-drug message starting this month.

The upright congressman (cont.): Republican Rep. Robert Dornan, who sued United Airlines for kicking him off the plane after he refused to straighten his seat for the takeoff, gets no sympathy from one GOP member: Former Judge Judith Ryan. Of course, she is his primary opponent in the 46th District.

“He has a history of loud and abusive behavior,” Ryan commented. “He should have taken the train.”

Said Dornan: “She’s a liberal who’s going to get her clock cleaned at the election and we’ll never hear from her again.”

He added: “That’s a good line about the train, though.”

miscelLAny:

Edgar Rice Burroughs Inc., which recently sued Vogue magazine for publishing a sexy Tarzan/Jane fashion piece without the company’s permission, is based in Tarzana.