TOUR DE FORCE

The unfunny thing about Patt Morrison’S “Tour de Force” (Guest Bites Town, April 19) is that all of it is true. Except, of course, for the very profitable “no-growth tour,” a business I am seriously thinking of establishing--from some smaller, far-from-Los Angeles locaion--as soon as I can negotiate my way out of here.

Any takers for the tour-guide positions?

JAYNE GORDON-COOPER Sherman Oaks