There’s Nothing Like the High of a Mother’s Love

Since this is Sunday, let’s talk about family values.

* A young woman moves from her home in San Diego to Siskiyou County in Northern California, and, naturally, her doting mother starts to feel lonesome.

So she sends her daughter a package, like any parent might send a kid at college: a batch of cookies.

Except that this package, according to police, contains small amounts of methamphetamine and marijuana, a little pick-you-up from home, you might say.

The package also includes Mom’s return address.

One thing leads to another and now the mother, 46, is up on drug charges in San Diego, and the daughter, 23, is ditto in Yreka.

One piece of evidence is a note found inside the speed-and-pot box: “Miss You. Love, Mom.”

* Bernard Lee Hamilton Jr. has pleaded guilty in San Diego to felony car theft and been given probation.

The name may seem familiar: His father, Bernard Sr., is on Death Row for the kidnaping-murder-mutilation of a Mesa College student in 1979.

* You’ve heard of the rap group House of Pain with its angry lyrics?

Try the House of Payne in Pacific Beach.

Uncle and nephew have a dispute over the nephew not taking his medication, police say. The nephew slams a door on the uncle’s fingers.

Mervyn S. Payne, 70, gets a trip to the emergency room, where the tip of one finger is amputated and two other bloody fingers have to be stitched up.

Mervyn J. Payne, 39, gets a trip to jail, where he’s hit with some criminal charges.

* Rachel Card, 22, daughter of Andrew Card, the Bush Administration’s secretary of transportation, is an events coordinator with the Bush-Quayle campaign office in San Diego.

* Now being filmed in San Diego: “Painted Blood,” a made-for-USA Cable movie about a writer who finds out her family is being victimized by a rare but fatal blood disease.

* Mr. vs. Mrs.

Last year he was prosecuted for beating her up.

This year, they’re back in the same San Diego courtroom, but the tables are turned: She is charged with trying to murder him.

Bard and Board

People and their passions.

* Cowabunga meets the Bard.

Jed Larson, 11, of Clairemont performs like a pro in the role of Mamillius, son to the tormented King Leontes, in the Old Globe’s production of “The Winter’s Tale.”

He’s a sixth-grader at the San Diego School of Creative and Performing Arts and has had parts in “Love’s Labors Lost” at the Old Globe and “Macbeth” at the University of San Diego.

But he’s not just a one-dimensional actor type.

He had to fit “The Winter’s Tale” rehearsals around his attendance at YMCA surf camp.

* President Bush comes to San Diego tonight for a $5,000-a-couple fund-raiser at the U.S. Grant Hotel and then an environmental speech Monday morning.

* Former President Ford is in town Monday to get an award from the American Cancer Society and maybe do some Democrat-bashing in behalf of Bush-Quayle.

* I know a San Diego cop who has a bumper sticker: “My Prisoner Was Citizen of the Month at Las Colinas.”

He’s decided not to put it on his police car. Wise move.

* Michael Orrell, San Diego’s premier UFO enthusiast, says he’s captured some strange things on videotape.

He’s trying to interest “A Current Affair.” Also selling (very strange) T-shirts of his own creation.

On-Again, Off-Again Crime Victim

A guy calls the cops from Mission Beach to report that his car has been stolen.

He calls back 90 minutes later to tell the cops to forget it: He found his car a couple of blocks away, where he’d parked it and then forgotten about it.

He calls back 30 minutes later to tell the cops that somebody must have been tinkering with his car because the key doesn’t fit the door anymore.

A suggestion is made that the guy check the license plate to see if it’s his car.

He calls back a few minutes later: It’s not my car, my car’s been stolen!!!