THE HUMAN CONDITION / WHY WE CUDDLE : The Caress We Love Best

One suspects Bill Clinton is a cuddler.

As a toucher nonpareil--a hugger of vice presidents, cabinet secretaries and utter strangers at political rallies--he exudes great physical warmth.

It’s easy to imagine him cozying up on a sofa with Hillary and Chelsea, passing the corn chips and bean dip back and forth as they watch reruns of “Designing Women.”

We definitely get the feeling the First Family is like most of us in that they enjoy the close contact of cuddling--one of life’s earliest and richest pleasures.

Newborns are held and cuddled by their parents moments after delivery, making it their first experience of the new world.

When we grow up, we may cuddle with our mates, pets and kids (yes, roughhousing counts as much as tickling). Sometimes we even snuggle up with inanimate objects, such as the full-length body pillows that are the vogue in catalogues and department stores.

In the stay-at-home ‘90s--which is shaping up as the decade of nesting and take-out food--nothing fills the bill like cuddling when we’re too tired for sex and in dire need of a little TLC. Perhaps that explains why millions are drawn to the cuddlesome couple played by Roseanne Arnold and John Goodman on “Roseanne.”

“It really strengthens a relationship,” says Ross Carder, a consulting engineer based in Albuquerque, who admits a fondness for cuddling with his wife, Carol. “It communicates a lot of caring, sharing and security--a sense that all is fundamentally well with the world.”

Carder, who says his parents were not especially demonstrative, says he made a point of giving his two children plenty of hugs while they were growing up.

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Why is cuddling so important to us in the first place?

Scientists see in cuddling and similar forms of physical intimacy an important means of “socializing” humans and animals alike, a direct way to communicate a sense of security.

“Children are born with an attachment need--that’s an instinct,” says Vivian Center Seltzer, professor of human development and behavior at the University of Pennsylvania.

“If they cannot attach in infancy, that has ramifications for their ability to form attachments later in life,” she says. “Infants learn through their senses. Therefore they have to be in contact, and one of the senses is, of course, touch.”

From the close, sheltering holding provided by a loving parent, an infant learns to associate a sense of security and pleasure with being touched.

“Children thrive with it,” Seltzer says. “Children do not thrive without being touched and handled and loved.”

While most parents realize that children ought to be hugged, we forget that adults also need that contact--and often don’t get it, Seltzer says. Single people and the elderly are particularly vulnerable, she says.

“That’s one of the problems with aging,” she says. “The people you could freely touch aren’t there.”

Cultural and moral values also determine how much touch people receive, Seltzer says.

For instance, in our society “there has been a misinterpretation of physical touch necessarily having a sexually intimate outcome,” Seltzer says. In other cultures, “touch between people is not interpreted as sexual.”

The need for close contact is not confined to humans, of course.

Among mammals, mothers often lick or nuzzle their newborns to stimulate breathing and get them moving, according to Linda King, a professor of veterinary medicine at Tuskegee University and a columnist for McCall’s magazine.

Veterinarians have long known that an abandoned puppy or kitten can be comforted by placing a stuffed toy in its bed. “That implies they’re feeling some sort of security--some kind of protection,” King says.

Among cats and dogs, playful wrestling and nipping “is a form of teaching socialization as well,” she says. “There’s lots of physical contact. They’re establishing the pecking order.”

We may not often realize it but our need for cuddling is often what drives us to adopt pets. With their devotion and boundless capacity for affection, pets bring out the warmth and playfulness in us, as when we baby-talk to the pooch or let the cat sleep next to us.

King and her students regularly take dogs and cats to nursing homes and the local veterans hospital to visit with patients. Just allowing someone a few minutes to hold and stroke a pet has measurable effects.

“It’s been found the people who have had pet visitations have lower blood pressure and less stress,” she says.

“With these people, when they’re touching the animal, those who’ve been very, ‘Don’t touch me’--you find them beginning to reach out and they’ll hold your hand,” King says.

Karen Eliasson, who works at Pets of Wilshire, says many of her customers pick their pets based on their cuddle potential.

While puppies, kittens and bunnies are perennially popular as pets, some people find that birds make for affectionate companions, Eliasson says.

“They snuggle up to you,” she says. “They enjoy the company, definitely.”

Some types of birds like the contact more than others, Eliasson says. “Cockatoos are famous for being cuddly,” she says.

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Massage therapists have long recognized the value of therapeutic touch in promoting health and general well-being. Massage stimulates blood flow to the muscles and flushes away wastes.

“Massage therapists hug everybody, if the person allows it, “says Charles Brown, co-director of the New Mexico School of Natural Therapeutics. “In my own family everyone hugs.

“When a child gets touched early, in a safe way, they grow up as more balanced citizens,” he says.

For the cuddle-deprived, bedding manufacturers have had great success marketing body pillows, which are identical to regular bed pillows, except that they are 54 to 60 inches long by 20 inches wide. They’re available in polyester fill or down and sell for between $20 and $40.

Originally sold through catalogues, then department stores and now headed for discount outlets like Wal-Mart, they’re just the thing for people who sleep on their sides and want something soft and warm to embrace (and perhaps throw a leg over).

Not surprisingly, body pillows are a fast-growing segment of the bedding market, according to Stan Mieszkowski, bed pillow merchandising director for Perfect Fit Industries Inc. in New York.

“About two years ago we, as a company, figured out how to package it and display it, so a retailer can sell it,” he says. Along with other companies in the industry, Mieszkowski says, “We’ve all been enjoying very good success there.”

The pillows first were popular with pregnant women and those with back problems because of the extra support they provided. But ‘90s nesters also find they make great bolsters that stretch across the head of a bed for reading or watching TV.

Mieszkowski sees in the popularity of body pillows a sign of the times.

“People are going out less,” he says. “They’re more concerned with that warm, protected, womb-like environment.”

An Embraceable Few

CUDDLERS / NON-CUDDLERS

Diana / Prince Charles

Barney the Dinosaur / Oscar the Grouch

Tip O’Neill / Sen. Robert Dole

Katie Couric / Bryant Gumbel

Bill Clinton / Richard Nixon

Felix the Cat / Morris the Cat

Connie Chung / Dan Rather

The Energizer Rabbit / The Duracell Robots

Dave Thomas of Wendy’s / Lee Iacocca of Chrysler

The Madonna / Madonna

James Brown (if he stood still) / David Bowie