NAFTA laughta: Inside a PACE warehouse in...

NAFTA laughta: Inside a PACE warehouse in Torrance, Clete Sakaguci spotted stacked copies of Al Gore’s book, “Creating a Government That Works Better and Costs Less,” near a stack of Ross Perot’s “Save Your Job, Save Our Country.”

In between the two was a stack of copies of Robert Fulghum’s “Uh-Oh.”

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Johannesburg 90210: Reruns of the TV show about life at good ol’ West Beverly High have become so popular in South Africa that representatives of the nation contacted the journalism teacher at what they thought was the real thing.

We know because we read it in the “Only in Beverly Hills” column in the Beverly Hills High newspaper, Highlights.

“They thought it would be a good idea for their schools to have newspapers just like the one in the show,” said instructor Gil Chesterton. “They wanted samples of our paper. So I sent one of my writers down to the South African Consulate in Beverly Hills with some editions.”

Obviously, South Africa was unaware that the TV show is actually filmed at Torrance High.

Really, officers, you could have had it on the house: Jack and Mary Hentschel of Malibu were at work when the flames were closing in on their house. It was saved, neighbors told them later, by some Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies who grabbed a hose.

The Hentschels are still trying to find out the identities of the unknown heroes, who left the accompanying apologetic note behind.

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The most colorful public thank you: A sign in front of a Topanga house that survived said:

“You came, you saw, you kicked ass.”

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The fire the other time: One of the burned-out buildings in the area is the Topanga Fish Market, which good-naturedly displays a sign that says, “Charred House” and claims the distinction of being the “Hottest Restaurant in Town.” But it wasn’t a casualty of the recent fire. It was torched several months ago during a burglary.

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OK, so maybe it’s a long shot: Beverly Hills publicist Jacqueline Greene points out that one of her clients, historical documents expert Kenneth Rendell, helped prove that the reputed diaries of both Jack the Ripper and Adolf Hitler were hoaxes. She adds: “Mr. Rendell is available in case Sen. (Bob) Packwood would to like to claim that his own diaries are fake.”

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Let’s hope they brought home a garter as proof: A colleague who noticed our item about the recent fund-raisers held by three strip-tease joints said: “I wonder if any husbands phoned their wives and said, ‘Honey, I’ll be late tonight because I’m going to a benefit for the fire victims.’ ”

miscelLAny:

Under the heading “Hollywood,” the 1947 American Treasury of Slang offers these variations: Bawleywood, the Big-Headed Burg, Celluloidia, Follywood, H’ood, Hooeywood, Horrorwood, Ollie Wood, Sinemaland and Squawkiewood.