Spotlight on ‘Wilder’ Houston

Downey’s California:

--Sales of Houston Rocket merchandise reportedly have tripled to nearly three caps per year. --The good news in Houston is that the Rockets and Oilers are playing maybe their best ball ever. The bad news, tragically: Mitch Williams.

--I like the Oilers’ chances to be in the Super Bowl, provided their wives don’t have any more babies.

--So how come Hakeem Olajuwon fails to get more publicity? For example, why don’t we ever see Grand Mama Olajuwon?

--Shaquille schmaquille. Houston has the Hak Attack.

--Ahhh, don’t you wish Bill Laimbeer could retire every day?

--For punching Laimbeer in the skull, the NBA warned Isiah Thomas in no uncertain terms: “Next time, harder!”

--I understand Karl Malone was so upset over Laimbeer’s retirement, he cut off the champagne after 100 bottles.

--Laimbeer has the mouth to become one of the game’s truly great hecklers.

--Simply to annoy Charles Barkley, I have decided to make him my role model but not buy his shoes.

--One thing you can count on from Dennis Rodman every night is a single-double.

--Horace Grant is insisting he’ll be leaving the Chicago Bulls after this season. Can’t really blame the guy. He wants to go somewhere where he can win a championship.

--Hillary Rodham Clinton’s health-care bill particularly interests Golden State.

--If the Lakers had Magic Johnson back right this minute, let’s see, I would definitely recognize three of them.

--Charles Smith contributed another big two-points-and-one-rebound-and-no-assists-in-24-minutes night for the Knicks against the Rockets. Yeah, such a shame the Clippers couldn’t keep this offensive machine.

--My favorite part of Seattle SuperSonic games is when Kemp and Schrempf shake and bake and stop and pop.

--Everybody keeps asking whether Steve Carlton and George Hendrick will be elected to the baseball Hall of Fame on the first ballot. I continue to have no comment.

--Mario Soto’s also on the ballot. Well, there goes one vote.

--Delino DeShields, Brett Butler, Jose Offerman and the pitcher should combine next season to provide the Dodger lineup with zero homers.

--Don’t worry. Combined with Mike Piazza’s homer total, that’ll make 60.

--Dennis Martinez should be a big hit with Cleveland’s Nicaraguan community.

--To save more money next season, San Diego’s caps will drop the D and only have the S.

--Whenever I hear this Mighty Duck goaltender’s name, Tugnutt, I think he’d make a really cool candy bar.

--Pretty unfair, San Diego State firing its football coach, Al Luginbill. He turned out to be the only man in the country who could stop Marshall Faulk.

--Leon Lett’s on “Monday Night Football.” So be sure you watch until the very last play.

--Bill Belichick hopes to succeed Jimmy Johnson some day as Dallas coach so he can cut Troy Aikman.

--Dennis Hopper’s TV commercials make me want to go out and buy more Dennis Hoppers.

--UNLV and UCLA played basketball Saturday. Both teams hope to unseat defending national champion UNCCH.