Who Let Herzog Get on Angels’ Bandwagon?

W hat this Angel bandwagon really needs is a good bouncer . . .

* Not everyone gets to ride for free, even though certain members of the Baseball Writers Assn., scratching their heads and staring at the Angels’ 54-33 record as if it were a Rubik’s cube, have resorted to lobbing bouquets around the yard as if they were Jose Offerman, trying to turn two.

* For instance, Whitey Herzog has been mentioned.

* I know. I dropped the paper on the floor when I saw his name, too.

* “Whitey’s legacy.” “The Herzog plan.” I suppose it’s good-spirited to try to include everyone, but Whitey had as much to do with these first-place Angels as George Bush had to do with the Republican Congress. Whitey’s impact on the Angels was roughly the same as Dan Henning’s with the Chargers--once he removed himself from the situation, the situation quickly improved.

* Just to set the record straight: Bill Bavasi brought in Lee Smith to bolster the bullpen. Herzog gave away Bryan Harvey. And gave us Joe Grahe.

* Because, after all (and you remember this golden oldie), “closers are overrated.”

* Third basemen: Bavasi traded for Tony Phillips. Herzog traded for Kelly Gruber.

* Left-handed starting pitcher: Bavasi brought back Jim Abbott, whom Herzog traded two years before Abbott was eligible for free agency. To replace him, Herzog brought in Joe Magrane.

* Utility infielders: Bavasi brought in Rex Hudler and Chico Lind. Whitey brought in Ken Oberkfell.

* Three more names to remember: Von Hayes, Hubie Brooks, Alvin Davis.

* As if anyone might forget.

* Bavasi has been the best clean-up man in baseball this year, sweeping up after Whitey. Before succeeding Herzog as Angel general manager, Bavasi oversaw a minor-league system that developed Tim Salmon, Jim Edmonds, Gary DiSarcina, Troy Percival and Garret Anderson. The smartest thing Whitey did is not trade any of them.

* As for Richard Brown, the smartest thing the Angel president has done in his five years is step back from the baseball operation and let his baseball people--Bavasi, assistant general manager Tim Mead and scouting director Bob Fontaine--do the team’s bidding. Brown’s forte has always been the community-relations stuff--bringing embittered old Angels back into the fold, spicing up a reporter’s notebook the way Mike Port never could. But the last thing this team needed was another Gary Gaetti. Or another Dave Parker. Or another Luis Sojo, “the next Bobby Grich.”

* And about this so-called Angel “five-year plan” we’re starting to hear about, along with such words as “fruition” and “culmination.” If you spend four years flipping a coin and one day Ed McMahon shows up on your porch with a check for $14 million, does that constitute a five-year plan?

* The Angels’ current success stems largely from a word only recently added to the organizational vocabulary: P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E. Old Angel strategy: Spot a hot prospect, trade him immediately for a 35-year-old designated hitter with bad knees and a bloated contract. New Angel strategy: Spot a hot prospect, maybe keep him around a while.

* Although in the cases of Edmonds, DiSarcina and Damion Easley--just to name three--it certainly was cheaper to keep them around than to replace them with bloated contracts. During the Angels’ austerity program of the early ‘90s, they were young and inexpensive at precisely the right time.

* Last add, Whitey legacy: The Angels will pay Joe Magrane $1.5 million this season not to throw baseballs for them. (A bargain at any price, I know.) That $1.5 million would more than pay for the Angels’ starting outfield. Salmon will make $900,000 in 1995, Edmonds in the $200,000 range and Anderson the major league minimum, $109,000.

* The Angels had 52 victories on the day Abbott pitched his first game for the Angels wearing No. 52. Just wanted to throw one out there for the seamheads.

* Saturday, the Carolina Panthers edged the Jacksonville Jaguars, 20-14, in front of a national TV audience and, yes, there are now two more teams that can beat the Rams.

* Reports out of St. Louis insist the Rams’ defense is in midseason form. So, Sean Gilbert has sacked his last quarterback of 1995.

* Actually, the Ram defense was impressive in the team’s first intrasquad scrimmage, according to eyewitnesses. Of course it was. It was playing the Ram offense.

* What Monica Seles’ return really means to women’s tennis: Steffi Graf finally has someone to rally with again.

* Graf needs Seles the same way Navratilova needed Evert. No fan wants to pay to see a foregone conclusion every week. Which is why Orange County eventually stopped paying to see Ram games.

* New Kings Coach Larry Robinson promises a more defensive approach this season. Two points: 1) If it’s a less defensive approach, Robinson will be out of work in eight months. 2) As if Robinson has another choice. He’s seen the Kings’ forwards.

* Clippers’ horrendous tradeless drought now entering its second month.

* Baseball achingly attempts a positive step forward--speeding up a game so slow that even the major leaguers say it puts them to sleep when they’re watching on TV--and the traditionalists stumbled out of their musty library, ripping their clothes and wailing into the night. No sports feeds on nostalgia and living in the past as much as baseball. These games Bud Selig and Donald Fehr have graciously allowed to be played his summer? They’re only being played so old-timers 20 years from now can reminisce about them.