The last thing you’d ever call a...

The last thing you’d ever call a politician:

Just-released “Heat,” the 433rd crime movie of the year set in L.A., has a waterfront scene in which bad guy Robert De Niro tells his confederates that their escape route will be the “St.” Vincent Thomas Bridge.

De Niro is known for taking great pains to achieve authenticity. But, apparently, neither he nor the scriptwriters checked the Thomas Guide for the proper name. Vincent Thomas was no saint; he was an assemblyman.

MAYBE IT’S THE SUBURB OF WEST DOWNTOWN: “Heat” also offers a bloody bank robbery/shootout near the 5th and Flower area of downtown L.A., followed by a fictional TV newscast, anchored by Paul Moyer (in a convincing portrayal). Moyer and his reporter on the scene each say the violence occurred in a Southland “neighborhood.” A Civic Center neighborhood? We hoped the error would be corrected later in the movie on a subsequent fictional newscast but there was none.

DUELING SIGNS: Judie Fouquette says she didn’t realize how fast fortunes can change here until she noticed the two announcements on the side of a Whittier store.

FURTHER PROOF NO ONE WALKS IN L.A.: Workers in UCLA’s Anderson School of Graduate Management received a note from an associate dean explaining “that some type of vehicle, possibly a 4 X 4,” had paid a nocturnal visit to the complex, rumbling up and down two different stairways. Not only were tire marks left but, in several spots on the stairways, “damage was done to the paving steps where it appears that the undercarriage of the vehicle ‘bottomed out.’ ”

But there was good news.

“I’m pleased to report,” the associate dean continued, “that we are taking steps with the UCLA sheet metal department to alter the handrail on the bridge [near the Wells Fargo Courtyard] to prevent the use of that shallow-angle handrail as a ‘line’ for the skateboarders who apparently discovered it recently.”

THE MAYOR PUTS IN HIS TWO CENTS’ WORTH: Mayor Riordan’s office sent out a seven-point plan to city departments aimed at saving money through a “procurement and materials management re-engineering project.” (Now don’t fall asleep on us here, it gets better.) The memo goes on to say that, if everyone does his and her part, “savings of $248 to $273 over a five-year period are projected.”

Wow--a savings of almost 60 bucks a year to the city!

The informant who sent us this memo commented: “Since the mayor is going to require each of the city’s department heads to cooperate by setting support for this program as a goal, it would be easier for them each to pitch in a dollar a year, and cheaper, too.”

miscelLAny For the hospital staff that has everything: How about a Doctor Barbie? El Segundo-based Mattel has outfitted her in a micro-mini skirt, a style that could catch on at medical centers around the nation. We noticed she also wears hot pink high heels, which, we imagine, could be a bit uncomfortable in the operating room. If only for the patient.