Lawyers--a rat’s view:An anonymous Westsider has written...

Lawyers--a rat’s view:

An anonymous Westsider has written “Explaining the Inexplicable: The Rodent’s Guide to Lawyers,” which is unlikely to help that profession’s image.

Some of Rodent’s advice may strike a chord with anyone who has ever attempted to reach a barrister by telephone.

“Clients should be made to wait at least a day or two before their calls are returned,” Rodent wrote in an excerpt in the L.A. Daily Journal. “Otherwise, they might start to think you are at their beck and call.”

Rodent added: “Calls from your spouse can also wait a day or two unless, of course, your spouse happens to outrank you at The Firm.”

MORE LAWYERLY PHONE ETIQUETTE: Our favorite story by the Rodent concerns the time that senior law partner Thomas Dewey phoned his office on a weekend. When a young associate answered, Dewey--the former presidential candidate--said he needed some help on a matter.

The associate responded that he was too busy with other projects.

Dewey, aghast, asked: “Do you know who this is?”

The associate said no.

“This is Thomas Dewey,” the great man said.

After a pause, the associate asked, “Do you know who this is?”

Dewey said he didn’t, whereupon the associate hung up the phone.

ENOUGH ABOUT AMBULANCE CHASERS: Let’s move on to a related category. As for the question posed by a bumper sticker on an L.A. County coroner’s van (see photo), our response is: “Carefully, we hope. Very carefully.”

DOES MADISON RING A BELL? Making its return this month, along with Angels Flight, will be the Madison telephone exchange--at least, as far as the trolley is concerned. The railway’s stationery will list MA 6-1901 as its number for information about the 60-second, Hill Street-to-Olive Street line.

Yes, youngsters, phone numbers once were preceded by a letter prefix. That’s why the alphabet can be seen on telephone dials. And why a famous 1950s movie was called “Dial M for Murder,” not “Dial 6 for Murder.”

“Madison was the downtown exchange of most of the old buildings,” explained John Welborne, president of the Angels Flight Railway Foundation. “And that’s what we’re all about--restoring a landmark.”

Welborne also pushed for the 1901 portion of the phone number--a reference to the opening year of the self-proclaimed “world’s shortest railway.”

ANGELS HIKE: Normally a fivefold increase in a transit fare might seem pretty outrageous. But we suspect that patrons who plunk down a quarter to ride Angels Flight will not resent the fact that a ticket cost a nickel when the landmark trolley was shut down in 1969.

The trolley actually has received some unsolicited contributions, aside from Bank of America’s sponsorship of the opening festival (Feb. 24-25). “Two people have sent in $5 checks,” the railway foundation’s Welborne said, “and one person sent in a $20 check.”

miscelLAny:

IKEA’s Burbank store is offering a group wedding ceremony on Valentine’s Day, followed by a reception with cake and Swedish meatballs. No purchase is necessary for the Feb. 14 nuptials, but each couple must “agree to invite no more than 20 guests to the wedding and reception unless told otherwise by IKEA.” And let’s think twice about inviting that troublemaker of an uncle of yours, OK?