A Stench-- From Fish to the B-2

Bear with me. I’m about to connect killing baby salmon, the B-2 bomber, HIV hysteria in the military and attacks on free speech on the Internet. So many stupidities, so little space.

First, the salmon. Not that I’m one of those animal-rights activists, but the tiny news item last week reporting the premature release of 8 million baby salmon into certain death in the icy waters of the Columbia River bothered the sportsman and gastronome in me. Upon further investigation, I learned that fish hatcheries in Oregon and Washington plan to kill 40 million baby salmon because Congress has cut $3.5 million in what is know as Mitchell Act funding.

The Mitchell Act was passed with the building of the huge Bonneville Dam in 1938 as a promise to the people of the Pacific Northwest to save the salmon, whose natural runs were rudely interrupted by this massive project. But thanks to this year’s budget-cutting mania, there are insufficient funds to keep the hatchery fish alive until they are big enough to survive on their own. A shame, even if you don’t feel for those little fishies, because there are many human jobs at stake in tourism and commercial fishing.

I haven’t worked out the numbers, but I’m certain it comes out as a higher jobs-to-tax-dollar ratio than we get on the B-2 bomber program. Last week, President Clinton, at the request of the Pentagon, decided not to order 20 more B-2s at a cost of $40 billion. He was immediately attacked by California’s Republican governor and Democratic Rep. Jane Harman of Rolling Hills. The latter warned that the loss of defense jobs in this state would be hung around the president’s neck come election time.

For those who don’t recall, the B-2 was designed as a Cold War nuclear fighting weapon. After we fired all of our missiles at the Soviets and vice versa, the B-2, stealthy as all get out, was to penetrate what remained of Soviet air defenses and make the radioactive rubble bounce. I never could find anyone in the Pentagon to defend that mission with a straight face, even when there was a Soviet Union. Today, the idea of building 20 more of those planes is patently absurd.

That’s why the secretary of Defense and the Joint Chiefs of Staff insisted that the program be ended. Clinton acted bravely in going along with the Pentagon on this cut, even though the huge bloc of California electoral votes is at stake. But that might have exhausted his courage quotient.

How else to explain his signing off on the defense authorization bill that kicks people with the HIV virus out of the military even if they are fully capable of doing their jobs? If Magic Johnson can play in the NBA, being HIV-infected ought not to automatically end a military career. Clinton correctly labeled this as “blatantly discriminatory,” pledged to not enforce it and said he would work with Congress to get it repealed. Not good enough. Leadership means standing firm against the forces of meanness and ignorance.

For the same reason, Clinton should have refused to sign the telecommunications bill until Congress removed the provisions that flagrantly violate the 1st Amendment’s guarantee of free speech. Here again, the president held his nose and expressed the hope that the courts would strike the ban on discussions of abortion and the dangerously loose wording on obscenity on the Net.

Having cruised the Internet all weekend fruitlessly searching for pornography more erotic and/or disgusting than the regular fare found on Fox television and various cable outlets, all of which benefit mightily from the new legislation, I don’t understand why Congress keeps picking on the Internet. There is no shortage of inexpensive software programs that parents can buy to censor their children’s use of the Net if they deem that wise. On the other hand, they might want to leave the sex bait out there as an inducement to have their kids discover all of the truly informative stuff on the Net.

That was my experience. My weekend Net surfing was not at all sexually stimulating, but the databases and forums I encountered provided a great deal of information on the folly of killing baby salmon, the uselessness of B-2 bombers, the real risks associated with HIV as well as the inherent wonders of the 1st Amendment.

It was marvelous to witness all of those protesters who blackened their home pages on the Net, a reminder of the love of free speech shared by so many Interneters. Let them regulate themselves. But it is hoped that some “techie” genius will come up with a V-chip to bleep out the stupidities tucked into legislation by obscene politicians.