Or was it the Lone Ranger’s greatest...

Or was it the Lone Ranger’s greatest disguise?

Several suspicious residents phoned police to report a sighting of “a man wearing a mask in a car,” the South Pasadena Review reported recently.

Police tracked down the suspect, who turned out to be a “large dog.”

IT WASN’T EVEN A WATER MOCCASIN: At a local newspaper reunion, photographer Henk Friezer heard this story about a former L.A. radio reporter who lives in a trailer without electricity in the Arizona desert.

One night the reporter came home late, after having imbibed a few drinks, and saw something coiled near his front door. Snakes are, of course, a hazard in the area so he raced to a neighbor’s trailer to borrow a shotgun. He returned and blew the intruder to bits.

It was only when he awoke the next morning that he discovered he had killed a new garden hose.

LEAVE THE SLOGANEERING TO US (CONT.): Some additional reader entries in our contest to create an MTA slogan more relevant than the agency’s new “Travel Smart--Take Metro” theme:

* “Nowhere to Go? Ride the MTA” (John Scott).

* “Take Metro, Please” (Paul Schowalter). Robert Scott voiced a similar sentiment.

* “MTA: Can You Dig It?” (John Walsh).

* “Red Line: Never a Dry Run” (also Walsh).

* “Save Petrol--Take Metro” (the caller said it was such a bad pun that “I don’t even want to leave my name”).

* “If You Have Gas, Save It. Ride the Metro” (Paul Ecker).

* “MTA: As Seen in the Film ‘Speed’ ” (Philip Frankenfeld). (Alternate: “MTA: Dennis Hopper Not Included.”)

* “Red Line: Take It and Get the Shaft” (Tim Roberts).

Finally, Al Conti believes the agency should adopt the Federal Express ad:

“The MTA: When You Absolutely, Positively Have to Be There Overnight.”

WHY HELP THE COMPETITION? A sign at a Long Beach bicycle shop says “No Bus Change.”

MAYBE A COILED GARDEN HOSE WOULD BE MORE EFFECTIVE: “I pass this building fairly often in Culver City,” writes Thomas Sexton. “Almost every time more pigeons are on the building with the fake owl than the other buildings in the mall. I was wondering if the owl is attracting rather than repelling the pigeons.”

BAD SPELLERS R US: John Yozzo, Mona Edwards, Bill Kennedy, Tom Baskerville and Elyse Verse were the first of 20 or so readers who wrote or faxed us to call attention to the UCLA protesters pictured in Thursday’s Times. The students were holding a hand-lettered sign that said: “Keep Politics Out of the Univesities.”

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You have to admire the courage of the Sportsmen’s Lodge in Studio City for agreeing to host an April 11 gathering of attorneys at a seminar titled “Slip & Fall Cases.” Then again you can be sure the restaurant’s floors will be dry. Absolutely, positively dry.