WonderMom Can’t Take Heat in the Kitchen

WASHINGTON —  In the ‘20s, movie audiences thrilled to “The Perils of Pauline.” In the ‘90s, TV audiences thrill (well, maybe not quite thrill) to “The Crises of Kathie Lee.” Pauline was a fictional embattled heroine but Kathie Lee Gifford is, for lack of a better term, real.

Gifford, co-host with Regis Philbin of “Live With Regis & Kathie Lee,” a deservedly successful talk show out of New York, has been sobbing her way through the headlines lately because of a scandal involving a line of clothing to which she attached her name. It turns out some of the clothing had been manufactured in Honduran “sweatshops” by exploited children. A New York sweatshop was uncovered, too.

In bountifully tearful statements, Gifford insisted she was blameless and there was every reason to believe her--to a point. You could accept that she had no knowledge of the sweatshops’ existence, but back when she first agreed to license bargain-priced clothing with her name on it, she might have done more investigating to see how those prices were to be kept such a bargain.

At any rate, the controversy has been splashing around through the New York tabloids, supermarket scandal sheets, People magazine and all over the tube. In a recent interview on ABC’s “PrimeTime Live,” Gifford even took a shot at me. L’il ol’ me! So maybe it’s time I weighed in on this festering national issue, and when I weigh in, brother, I weigh in.

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Reporter Cynthia McFadden asked Gifford if she had any “regrets” about making such a public spectacle of her family life. On “Live” and other venues, Gifford chatters endlessly about husband Frank and children Cody and Cassidy. Said McFadden: “Some television critics, Tom Shales and others, have said that you have thrust your tow-headed moppets into the public eye in a way that’s not fair to them.”

Gifford’s answer was not an answer. “Well, it’s interesting that those kinds of criticisms usually come from people who don’t have children,” she said. “The man is a good writer and that’s it.” Gosh, thanks, Kathie Lee!

By Gifford’s logic, anyone who thinks she is mercilessly exploiting her own children doesn’t like children. On the contrary, such critics may be expressing genuine concern for those kids. Gifford sometimes speaks of her children in self-aggrandizing ways that seem designed to glorify her, not them, and support her image as America’s WonderMom.

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Earlier in the “PrimeTime” report she responded to wags in the press who had dubbed her “Kathie ‘Me’ Gifford.” Said she: “It only hurts when it affects my family. When I saw a cartoon that had Regis and Frank and Cody at a sewing machine, with me as a dominatrix saying, ‘Sew faster,’ you know, that kind of thing hurts because it involves people I love.”

She’s being disingenuous again. She’s the one who has invited the world into her family’s private lives. Gifford cannot then claim them to be off-limits to everyone else who might comment.

Gifford featured her family prominently on her mawkish Christmas special in December. Repeatedly, the program seemed to probe not the true meaning of Christmas but the true meaning of Kathie Lee. Frank Rich of the New York Times called it “one long wallow in materialism in the name of Jesus.”

Contrary to what Gifford maintains, a person can find aspects of her behavior appalling and still be entirely in favor of Christmas, Mom, apple pie, children and the American flag. Gifford continues to be a true delight joshing and parrying with Philbin on their show, but the sobbing self-defenses are embarrassing.

The National Enquirer notes that Gifford has been so upset by the hullabaloo that “she might even quit show business.” At this point, that doesn’t really sound like all that much of a threat.