Belle Tolls a Total Breakdown of Meter

I’m so sick of Albert Belle.

He can go straight to, well . . .

Straight to Baltimore, perhaps,

Where he can have another lapse

Of taste and style and couth

And threaten yet another youth

And prove he totally lacks class.

Albert Belle can kiss my foot.

ALLEN E. KAHN

Playa del Rey

*

Major league baseball can be improved if it:

1--Makes pulled groin muscles illegal.

2--Force-feeds Tom Lasorda Ultra Slim Fast.

3--Compels Albert Belle to play for Marge Schott.

STAN KAPLAN

Garden Grove