It Don’t Matter if You’re Black and White

Now that Chevrolet has stopped making the Caprice, long the faithful retainer of police agencies, start looking for Ford Crown Victorias to fill our rearview mirrors.

The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department recently purchased 400 of the beamy full-size Fords after decades of patrolling our corner of the U.S.A. in their Chevrolets. The California Highway Patrol has ordered 6,000 Crown Victorias and the LAPD 600 to replace Caprice fleets turning rickety and breathless from chasing O.J. and multitudes of lesser suspects.

But just what distinguishes their Crown Vics from our Crown Vics?

As part of an $800 Police Interceptor Equipment package installed by Ford, law enforcers’ cars have heavier springs, tougher shock absorbers, thicker stabilizer bars, plus beefier tires on wider wheels for surer feet and a stickier bite for freeway faceoffs. Engine tweaks and dual exhausts give the 4.6-liter V-8 in Deputy Dan’s Crown Victoria 210 horsepower, whereas John Q. Public’s Crown Vic puts out a wimpier 190 horsepower.

Here’s the oddity: One would think this trick equipment is sold only to police departments to maintain their edge. Nah. Ford, never one to miss a sale, makes it available to civilian Crown Victoria buyers, but disguised as a Handling and Performance Package.

OK. With all cars being equal in a perfect world, what chance does a citizen have of outrunning a police officer?

“Zero to none,” says Bill Senefsky, former deputy sheriff and editor-publisher of the 1,500-circulation Pursuit Vehicle News. “In Los Angeles County you wouldn’t have a prayer because we have the most magnificent helicopter fleet in the world.”

Still, the fantasy dies hard. Lt. Anthony Alba of LAPD press relations blanched before declining our request to drive a taxpayer black-and-white, but Ford Motor Co. wasn’t quite so picky and supplied a vehicle with all the Police Interceptor goodies sans red light and siren.

The punch of a police car over a civilian Crown Victoria is immediate and obvious. It has a peppier rear axle ratio for macho acceleration, just the thing for back-alley sprints and nipping pursuits in the bud. A stiffer suspension adds a touch of Winston Cup stocker, providing flatter handling and reduced rock and roll when boogieing around corners.

But in the end, the police advantage is more than mechanical. LAPD officers graduate from a 31-hour high-performance driving course and can take a car to the limit of adhesion--slide it, spin it, and grin at screeching, tire-smoking situations that would make average folk hurl. He has the red lights and sirens. You don’t. Law and order, right and mom’s blessing is on his side. Not yours.

Oh, and there’s one other thing--Handling and Performance Package-equipped Crown Vic notwithstanding--you can’t outrun.

“A police radio,” notes Senefsky.