At Home With His Role

Casey Spencer, 45, La Crescenta

The novelty of being a stay-at-home dad has worn off for me, but not for most people I meet. Whenever I’m introduced to someone, I almost always have to tell them twice that I take care of my 2-year-old daughter Keilani on a full-time basis.

I became a stay-at-home parent when my daughter was born. My wife, Sharon, and I agreed when we got married 10 years ago that we wanted one of us to stay home with our kids. We decided we would choose who would stay at home when the time came based on who had the best job.

I’m a self-employed photographer by trade, and my wife is a financial planner. When Keilani was born, Sharon was making better money than I was, and she always had steady work--something I couldn’t count on.

About four months ago, she took a new job as a manager at a Los Angeles entertainment company. This job required us to move from San Diego to La Crescenta.

I find my role as a stay-at-home parent very fulfilling. I consider it my job to keep my daughter happy and to keep my wife included in the family. I often send her faxes detailing everything from how many poopy diapers we had that day to stories my daughter and I make up.

The hardest thing for me, as for most stay-at-home dads, is the isolation. To combat this, I started a dads’ network in San Diego, and I’m working to start one in Los Angeles. I also attended a convention with about 45 other dads in Chicago last year. We’re hoping to have 200 dads this year.

I’m heartened that now when I meet people and tell them what I do, they often talk about friends, relatives or acquaintances they know of who also have chosen to stay at home full time with their kids.

I don’t know whether I’ll return to photography. I might open a preschool or do some radio or become a public speaker. But my real passion right now is advocating the importance to a child’s well-being of having a stay-at-home parent.

Those interested in joining the dads’ network can e-mail me at CaseyPhoto@aol.com