The Attorney With 2 Brains?

Some unusual testimony from a murder trial is recorded in the Informant, a newsletter of the L.A. County district attorney’s office.

A defense attorney, cross-examining a pathologist, asked, “Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?”

Pathologist: “No.”

Attorney: “Did you listen to the heart?”

Pathologist: “No.”

Attorney: “Did you check for breathing?”

Pathologist: “No.”

Attorney: “So, when you signed the death certificate you weren’t sure the man was dead, were you?”

Pathologist: “Well, let me put it this way: The man’s brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it’s possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.”

INQUIRING MINDS . . . Tyra Chipman of West Hollywood wonders why a market would sell half avocados in lots of two. And John Mayer can’t figure out what happened to “A” in a Best World Products sign. Maybe, he theorized, “the landlord only had 25 spaces available” (see photos).

LETTERS WE NEVER FINISH READING: This one was nominated by Dave Clark of L.A., who received a letter from the Keller Graduate School of Management that began:

“Dear Perspective Student . . . “

RHODA WOULD GIVE YOU A BOGART OVER THIS ITEM: Regarding my discussion of notable people who become figures of speech, Richard Shelter of Silver Lake points out that the movie “Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion” uses the term Rhoda. It means the less glamorous of two women, a reference to the Rhoda character in TV’s “Mary Tyler Moore Show.”

And Joe Garofalo of Malibu says the trend isn’t all that new. “We used to say, ‘I gave him a Bogart,’ meaning you had faced someone down,” he said. “And, in the Army, if you did something crazy or heroic you were pulling a John Wayne.”

LANGUAGE! Ron Burton of Sunland, on a visit to France, leased a Peugeot and noticed that an accompanying booklet said he was required to affix an “F” sticker to the rear of the car. The booklet added, in a sort of cheeky tone, that a sample of the sticker “is included in the documents contained in the blue folder; you will just have to stick it.”

THEY GROW UP SO FAST THESE DAYS: Marion Graff, a docent at the L.A. County Natural History Museum, received a request for a tour from a local recreation center that described its group this way:

“No. in group: 40 children and 10 adults over the age of 12.”

LOST IN SPACE: Howard Michaelson of Montebello says he phoned a bank to find out its location. Given the address, he asked whether it was on the north or south side of the street.

“What direction are you coming from?” the bank rep asked.

“I’ll be going west,” he said.

“I’m not familiar with that side of town,” the representative said.

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Tom Nevermann sent along the menu from Sabetta’s Pizza and Pasta, which includes “Silverlake Surprise . . . made with real Silverlake tap water.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.