A Spa for Hedonists

BARCELONA, Spain —  As the hot-water hydrojets worked their streams up my spinal cord, a thought passed whimsically through my groggy brain: By the time all this relaxation was complete, I’d be an invertebrate. I smiled, imagining myself slithering like a banana slug, my backbone reduced to mere protoplasm.

Ah . . .

It didn’t take much to make us fall in love with the Termes La Garriga health spa. What’s not to love? Located in a quiet village just a 20-minute drive from Barcelona, the spa offers four-course Catalan meals complete with top Spanish wines and all the muscle de-tensing, mind-melting, cellulite-crushing, hot springs-soaking and body-pampering a person can stand.

And I can stand a lot.

Europeans take their spas seriously. Many governments on the continent cover spa retreats in their national health plans. Most European spas are staffed by physicians and trained physical therapists and blend fairly standard medical procedures with beauty and--well, let’s be blunt--divine decadence. Some things may be familiar to Americans fortunate enough (or rich enough) to regularly haunt the spa scene. But the overall effect will seem quite different.

Absent are the healing crystals under your bed, menus of cholesterol-countering cardboard endless bottles of sparkling water (in the absence of alcoholic alternatives) and New Age babble. Absent, too, are many of the trendy beauty gimmicks and pressure to purchase high-priced cosmetic products that promise, with frequent and expensive use, to shed flab, tighten butts, eliminate wrinkles and lead the wallet-weary sucker to the Fountain of Youth.

Europe is old. The spa scene here dates to the ancient Romans. And if historical records are right, nobody knew how to do spa decadence like those Roman patricians. They ate well, imbibed generous portions of Bacchus’ nectar and scoured the hills and dales of their conquered territories in search of natural hot mineral waters. Many of Spain’s famed spas were developed 2,000 years ago when the Iberian Peninsula was controlled by Caesar’s appointees. Those hard-working Roman legions needed places to rest their weary bones between periods of raping and pillaging.

*

Termas Pallares, a spa in Zaragoza, was once designated an R&R; spot for the Pretorian troops. El Paraiso spa dates discovery of its healing waters in the mountains of Manzanera to 200 BC. And Spain’s most popular Costa Brava spa, Vichy Catalan, was originally built during the reign of Emperor Augustus.

The “new” spas, such as Termes La Garriga (originally built in 1891), follow traditions established by those ancient Roman retreats. They exist with one keyword in mind: relax. Sure, if you want to put in five hours of golf or break a sweat on the tennis courts, the accommodations are there. But nobody in the Spanish spa business would dream of putting you on an American-style forced march (“it’s for your health, dear”) or pounding aerobics regimen. To the Spanish, that’s work. That’s everyday stuff that you cram into your busy urban schedule.

Relaxation is entirely another matter. It is sought for many reasons: to counter stress, for postoperative recuperation, as a hide-out after plastic surgery, divorce recovery. . . . Whatever the motivation, the goal is the same: days on end doing nothing more difficult than deciding whether to have the full body massage, one-hour facial or long mineral bath soak.

Life is tough. Survival, or health, requires periodic “medical services,” as they’re called at Termes La Garriga in La Garriga.

After several days of food, fiesta and fun in Barcelona, my 25-year-old niece, Angela, and I needed a little retooling. We were greeted at the spa’s pleasant reception area by a cheerful Catalan gentleman, who, like most of his compatriots, was multilingual. The people of Catalan have a strong separatist streak that works in favor of linguistically challenged Americans.

Because they hold Madrid’s power in disdain, they are less than enthusiastic about the Castilian (classic Spanish) language. But they realize that fewer than 6 million people on the planet speak their beloved Catalan, so they are very tolerant and helpful to those who speak any other language--except, perhaps, Spanish.

In short, they may not speak American English, but they are more than willing to stumble through any form of communication you care to try. It’s warm and funny. And Catalan proved easy and remarkably comprehensible to our ears.

The friendly receptionist lugged our bags to a private, nicely appointed room tastefully decorated with old botanical lithographs, vanilla-hued walls and green floral curtains and bedspreads. The bathroom in the recently renovated hotel proved a joyous discovery. Such modern plumbing--double sinks and a vast tub--is rare in even the best of European hotels.

The modest grounds of Termes La Garriga were nicely landscaped and tended, and focused on a small swimming pool and sunning area. Overlooking the pool was the dining area, decorated in a periwinkle and white motif.

We were led to a window table designated as ours for the duration of our stay and handed the menu and wine list. Menus changed for every meal, typically offering three-entree options, two first-course choices, a couple of soups or salads and several desserts. For the calorie-conscious, the menu-dieta was available. It proved to be the same as the main menu, though served in smaller portions and without sauces.

Typical of the meals was our Monday dinner: Gazpacho Andaluz (magnificent spicy tomato puree soup), Canalons de Vedella Gratinats (veal cannelloni with Catalan cream sauce), Llucera Fregida Amb Salsa Tartara (sauteed local white fish served with tartar sauce) and flan. It was accompanied by an excellent local red wine, a 1989 Marques de Caceres.

The meals proved particularly pleasurable, since one wasn’t expected to dress formally. The large white terry-cloth robes provided by the hotel were sufficient attire during the day, and casual clothes were worn at night. Our only complaint was that ambient music in the dining area consisted of a constantly repeating tape loop of Broadway musicals sung badly by no-name artists.

The “structure” of the day is as follows: Breakfast is served sometime between 8:30 to 10 a.m., followed by a “medical service” in the spa (massage, hydrotherapy, facial, reflexology) and then a nice long soak in the beautifully tiled pool of silica-rich hydrothermal water. By 2 p.m., it is time for a big lunch and generous amounts of wine, followed by a long siesta either at poolside or in a very quiet room. Sometime around 4 or 5 p.m., one staggers back down to the spa for another round of “medical services” and mineral-water soaks. And then the first really tough choice has to be made: dinner and a quiet evening at the spa, or a drive into Barcelona for a night of serious Catalan dining, music and strolling in the Barri Gotic, the city’s ancient core.

It’s a tough call. The days proved so relaxing that every muscle in our bodies stubbornly refused to flex. But Barcelona’s siren call is hard to resist, and having had a long siesta one can face the evening in true Catalan fashion: dining at 10 p.m., dancing and strolling until the wee hours.

Why not the latter? After all, what’s ahead tomorrow? Oh, sleeping, getting massaged, eating, drinking wine, sunbathing, those medical services. . . .

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

GUIDEBOOK / Soaking in Spain

Getting there: British Air, Delta, Air France, TWA and Swissair fly, with one change of planes, from Los Angeles to Barcelona. Advance-purchase, round-trip fares start at $900.

At Barcelona’s International Airport, rent a car and follow the well-placed signs for the northbound (Girona) Highway A-7. The exit , which comes fairly quickly, is Granollers. Follow the signs to the town of La Garriga. Termes la Garriga is on the main road, Calle Banys, No. 23.

Spas: We chose Termes La Garriga because of its intimacy (only 44 guests at a time) and proximity to Barcelona, but there are dozens more spas in Spain, some of which supply full family facilities and diversions for small children. For a listing, contact the Tourist Office of Spain and ask for the Health Spas brochure.

Termes La Garriga, Calle Banys 23, 08530 La Garriga, Barcelona. Prices for rooms, services and meals vary by season and are most expensive from July 1 to Sept. 1. Off-season rooms range about $150 to $400 a night. Meals are prix fixe ($32 dinner, $21.20 for menu-dieta). Prices: hydrojet, $20; facial, $55; telephone 011-34-3-871-7086.

La Toja, 36991 Isla de la Toja, Pontevedra (near Santiago de Compostela Airport). Natural springs. Lodgings at Gran Hotel de la Toja; from the U.S., tel. 011-34-86-73-0025.

Vichy Catalan, Avenida Doctor Furest 32, 17455 Caldes de Malevella, Girona (about an hour north of Barcelona on the Costa Brava). The hotel accommodates 167 guests; tel. 011-34-72-47-0000.

For more information: Tourist Office of Spain, 8383 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 956, Beverly Hills, CA 90211; (213) 658-7188, fax (213) 658-1061.