It Wasn’t Gravity That Was Pulling Him Backward

Erik Kramer of the Chicago Bears told the Chicago Sun-Times about the difficulty of trying to score on a quarterback sneak on fourth-and-goal from the one in an Oct. 12 game against the Green Bay Packers:

“There were guys behind me pulling me away from the end zone. They were pulling on anything they could get their hands on.

“By the time the officials got to me, I was closer to the 5-yard line than the end zone.”

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Trivia time: Which pitcher holds the World Series record for most wins and losses?

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Gritty stuff: The New York Times ran a list of “Things You Wouldn’t Hear a Southerner Say (sports category).” A sampling:

“We don’t keep firearms in this house.

“Wrestlin’s fake.

“Who’s Richard Petty?”

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Understated: When Michael Jordan was in Paris recently with the Chicago Bulls, a story in the newspaper France-Soi had this reaction:

“[Michael Jordan] is in Paris. That’s better than the Pope. It’s God in person. The God of basketball. The star of stars. The world’s most popular athlete, its highest paid, its most idolized.”

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Add Jordan: While in Paris, Jordan was asked what he planned to do for fun. “My kids and my wife are here,” he said, “so we’ll go on some tours of the Luge, probably some shopping.

He meant the Louvre, of course.

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Open season: Beleaguered St. Louis Ram quarterback Tony Banks has been criticized for everything, from the way he walks, to the name of his dog (Felony), to his bandannas and earrings.

One caller to the club even thinks Banks would grip the football better if he quit biting his fingernails.

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Clip and save: Jayson Williams of the New Jersey Nets is excited about his new teammate, rookie Keith Van Horn from Utah:

“I’ll tell you he’ll be the best rookie since Michael Jordan and I’ll bet 31,000 square feet of house on it.”

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FYI: USC has been outscored, 83-53, in the second half this season.

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Looking back: On this day in 1991, Minnesota’s Jack Morris shut out the Atlanta Braves, 1-0, in 10 innings as the Twins won the World Series in seven games.

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Trivia answer: Whitey Ford of the New York Yankees, 10 wins, 8 losses.

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And finally: Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune collected suggestions for movie titles about the Chicago Bears’ woeful season. Some examples:

“Four Quarters and a Funeral,” “Interception Day,” “Basic Lack of Instinct,” “Catch-22, Drop 78,” “A Fish Called Wannstedt,” “Das Boo,” “Stalag 17, Bears 0,” and “Punt for the Rest of October.”