Punch Lines

Starring Role: Wesley Snipes is a huge hit in the newly released vampire movie “Blade.” It’s about a bloodsucker who never sleeps. “After all those movies about the president, it’s about time we had one about Ken Starr.” (Argus Hamilton)

Ringing True: New Line Cinema is producing a $130-million “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. “It’s about the romantic life of Larry King.” (Premiere Radio)

Diana Rigg, We Need You: The plot of “The Avengers” has the villain creating a miserable climate for England. “And that is why the movie’s so unbelievably bad--the Avengers have to save England from its normal weather.” (Gary Easley)

Going for Song: The album John Lennon signed for Mark David Chapman before Chapman shot him is going on the auction block. Chapman says he doesn’t want a dime from the proceeds. “Proceeds instead should go toward singing lessons for Yoko Ono.” (Premiere)

Ball Talk: As Mark McGwire hit home run No. 53, he made headlines by becoming the only pro baseball player to admit he takes androstenedione, which is legal in baseball but banned in the Olympics, and by the NCAA and the NFL. “He may also be the only person in baseball who can pronounce ‘androstenedione.’ ” (Johnny Robish)

Dodger Stadium: Executives at Fox say they may tear down and rebuild Dodger Stadium. “Well, that’s one way to eliminate all those empty seats.” (Jerry Perisho)

Mommy Spice: Posh Spice and Scary Spice are reportedly pregnant, calling into question the future of the Spice Girls. “Posh and Scary are taking their pregnancies seriously. In fact, they’ve just changed their names to ‘Morning Sickness Spice’ and ‘Pickles and Ice Cream Spice.’ ” (Joshua Sostrin)

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The Essential Top 10 List (by Robb Watters)

An abbreviated Top 10 Life-Imitates-Art Movies Other Than “Wag the Dog.”

10. “Out of Sight” starring Al Gore.

7. “There’s Something About Monica.”

6. “The Negotiator,” starring Jesse Jackson.

5. “Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down,” starring Monica Lewinsky.

4. “Return to Paradise,” starring the Clintons in Martha’s Vineyard.

3. “The Avengers,” starring Ken Starr.

1. “Saving Bill’s Privates.”

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