Some Hugs Embraced by Fullerton School

FULLERTON —  Besieged administrators at Nicolas Junior High spent Thursday clarifying the school’s policy on hugging and other public displays of affection.

A day after the interim principal said that students should keep their hands and feet to themselves, the district’s assistant superintendent said some hugs and gestures such as high-fives are allowed.

“This is a place of business,” Assistant Supt. Karin Lynch said. “Sometimes it’s appropriate to hug. If you’re making out in the bushes, that’s not appropriate.”

Television, radio and newspaper reporters descended on the campus Thursday to learn more about the school’s policy, which came to light Tuesday when two students complained about it at a school board meeting.

Parents, teachers and even teens in Southern California acknowledge that there’s a whole lot of hugging going on at junior high schools these days. It is, some have suggested, a fad.

Meanwhile, the Nicolas student reportedly disciplined for hugging a male classmate said she was not punished. School officials confirmed that Thursday.

“I was just threatened with Saturday school,” 15-year-old Alicia Galvan said Thursday. “I didn’t actually go. . . . I just wanted to be heard.”

On Tuesday, Galvan and schoolmate Katrina Weed, 14, told the school board that students were informed in January that hugging and any other displays of affection on campus were banned.

They said they wanted to be able to hug their friends without fear of being punished. At school Thursday, scores of their classmates stepped forward to support them in that.

Administrators on campus say they are making clear to the pupils what is and what is not appropriate in an effort to clear up any confusion on the rule. Lynch said Thursday that no one will be disciplined or reprimanded for hugging on campus unless it is “inappropriate.”

Officials said that most students who have been caught disrupting the educational environment at school by hugging or kissing have only been told to stop the behavior and get to class.

Interim Principal Tammy A. Brown had said in an interview with The Times on Wednesday that public displays of affection are not appropriate at school and that forbidding all such behavior is “fair and consistent” and merely enforcement of a long-standing rule.

“They told us not to hug, but now they’re saying we can hug,” said 13-year-old Tracey Gilmore, a student at Nicolas. “I think it’s very hypocritical. I understand that some signs of affection are inappropriate, but hugging isn’t bad. It just shows that we’re a much loving school.”

In a world where bumper stickers suggest “Hugs Not Drugs” and “Arms Are for Hugging,” word that there is tension at Nicolas over students hugging came as a shock to many.

“If a teacher told us not to hug, we’d just ignore them,” said Randi McGowen, 12, walking home with friends from Bell Intermediate School in Garden Grove. “They can’t take that away from us.”

“Yeah,” added 14-year-old Christie Martinez, “We always give hugs. . . . It’s normal.”

Administrators at Bell say hugging “has never been an issue” at the middle school.

Sherine Smith, principal at Aliso Viejo Middle School, said hugging in the hallway is pretty common at the Laguna Niguel junior high--a behavior that rarely gets students there in trouble.

“To a limited extent, I think it’s pretty common behavior for kids this age,” said Smith, who adds that excessive public displays of affection are prohibited at the school.

“This is a time when kids are getting to know their roles. You have boys hugging girls, girls hugging girls,” Smith said. “But we don’t get too much over-the-line here.”

But what constitutes the excessive part in such display?

“It can get pretty complicated,” Smith said. “Obviously, kissing is not allowed. And if a girl and her boyfriend are meeting every day and making out at lunch time, we will bring them in and talk to them.”

Some displays of affection have the potential to violate sexual harassment rules on campuses, Smith said. They could create a “hostile environment” by making students uncomfortable.

“I think you just have to have common sense and judgment,” said Smith.

Experts in adolescent behavior agree that there is often a conflict between the “if it feels good, do it” part of the teenager, and the rules and restrictions of society.

“I think it’s true that biology is at war with sociology,” said Helen Colton, author of “The Gift of Touch.”

“You have to look at the style of hug,” said Colton, 80. “It can be sexual in nature, or it can also show genuine affection, warmth, or goodwill.

“Hugging is situational behavior,” she said. “We can’t make blanket statements condoning kids hugging all the time, but there is a lot of overboard zealotry out there. . . . People enjoy and need to touch.”

At Horace Ensign Middle School in Newport Beach, Principal Allan Mucerino said issues such as kissing kindergartners, a student taking a Midol to school, and now hugging in the hallways all underscore how difficult it is for schools to establish the right policy.

“These issues that get a lot of press make me shudder,” said Mucerino.

“Typically, seventh and eighth graders hug hello. . . . It’s refreshing,” he said. “Basically, we do not have a policy on hugging . . . but there’s a difference between ‘hugging’ and ‘groping.’ You hug your mom, you wouldn’t grope your mom.”

Groping teens at Ensign will be separated, counseled on inappropriate behavior, and might have a parent called, said Mucerino.

“Truancy, fighting, drugs, disrespecting adults, weapons at school, those are problems,” said Mucerino. “Hugging isn’t. . . . You choose your fights.”