The Good News Is, They Got It

The Scene: Monday’s premiere of Hollywood Pictures’ “An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn” at the Village theater. A party followed at Jerry’s Famous Deli. This is Joe Eszterhas’ long-awaited film industry satire. “I wanted to have fun,” said the screenwriter, who also wrote “Basic Instinct” and “Showgirls.” “I wanted to write something that was a goof, that was a hoot. Partly I just wanted to make the most expensive home movie ever made.”

Why the Title: If a director, not pleased with a film’s final cut, wants his name deleted from the credits, Directors Guild rules require that the pseudonym “Alan Smithee” be used. (As an example, whoever made “Bloodsucking Pharaohs of Pittsburgh” wisely sought anonymity.)

Vita Artem Imitatur: Arthur Hiller directed the film. Its premise is that a director named Alan Smithee wants his name removed from an awful, big-budget action film, but the mythical director is stuck because his name actually is Alan Smithee. In real life (if there is such a thing in Hollywood), a disgruntled Hiller disowned “AASF:BHB,” Eszterhas took over and a film about a fiasco became a fiasco.

Quoted: “It’s ironic that you write a film about standing up for the director’s cut and then it comes out as the writer’s cut,” said Eric Idle, who plays Smithee. “I’m looking forward to the ex-director’s cut. It will be the first movie with the ex-director’s cut.”

Who Was There: Half of Hollywood--from Sylvester Stallone to Billy Barty--is in the film, but either modesty, prior commitments or the pungent odor of turkey kept them away. Among those on hand were Idle and Eszterhas, plus co-stars Ryan O’Neal, Coolio and Robert Shapiro. Other guests included Wes Craven, Amy Ephron, Jeff Berg, Karl Austin, Steve Stabler and Neal Moritz, and studio execs Dick Cook, John Cywinski and Geoff Ammer.

The Hope: That a movie about Hollywood insiders playing to Hollywood insiders would rock the walls. As one savant observed, “This is the biggest and best audience this film will ever have. No one else will get it like these people will.”

The Reality: No hope. They might have gotten it, but they didn’t laugh. Maybe a couple of times--over lines like “I’m a producer, not a pimp. There’s a difference!”--but it tanked.

Overheard: “For an 86-minute movie, it sure felt longer.”

The Triumph: It is, however, the most expensive home movie ever made.