Seeing Red Over ‘Running of Bulls’

“Running of the Bulls in Long Beach,” blared the headline over the Page 1 story in the Press-Telegram on Thursday. It said a dozen 1,500-pound bulls would chase 500 people down a Long Beach street on March 20 in “what’s being called the first event of its kind in the U.S.” The newspaper’s readers were invited to dial a number in Phoenix and register to be one of the pursued, Pamplona-style. Cost: $30.

Whoa! The city may wrestle this event to the ground before it ever takes place.

“We haven’t gone crazy down here,” Long Beach Assistant City Atty. Robert Shannon told The Times. “The event is not going to take place that way--if it takes place at all.”

First, forget about the citizen-participation aspect. The people who were chased “would have to be professionals--bull riders or rodeo riders,” Shannon said.

Second, the city would demand that the promoter take out insurance that would relieve Long Beach of any liability. And the promoter would have to take steps to guarantee that the event poses no threats to public safety.

“So far, those requirements have not been met,” Shannon said.

Phil Immordino, a spokesman for the event, the Running of the Bulls America Inc., insisted that the group could satisfy the city on those counts. But, he admitted, that “with all the politics and all the hassles,” the chances of the civic stampede occurring are “probably 50-50.”

NOW FOR THE RUNNING OF THE CLICHES: The less-bruising International Imitation Hemingway Competition, better known as “The Bad Hemingway,” is revving up. Deadline for the writing contest is March 15. You can obtain an entry by calling PEN Center USA West (213) 365-8500, a co-sponsor along with Harry’s Bar & American Grill.

Need some inspiration? See if you can equal the force of this passage from Sandra Gallegos’ “A Farewell to Menudo” of a few years ago:

He felt lonely. He wondered if the bulls were lonely. If Herb Alpert said bulls get lonely, then it must be so, he thought.

(Especially the bulls of Long Beach, one might now add.)

STRANGE PROPERTIES: In this, Only in L.A.’s special Home Furnishings issue, we bring you unusual excerpts from real estate fliers forwarded by readers (see accompanying). Max Woods came upon a house with “4 Stair Heating,” not to be confused with forced-air “hearing” (spotted by Arnold Zweig). For that person on the go, Dorothy White found some “walking” closets. Estelle Wrisley, Karen Streisand and several other readers pointed out a technological innovation that has received too little attention--”stainless” glass windows. And, finally, Andy Dauer discovered another innovation--”air-conditioned mirrors”--useful if summer ever arrives.

TEN YEARS AGO TODAY: An L.A. man who flew into Lansing, Mich., was arrested on suspicion of cocaine possession after a suspicious ticket agent at LAX alerted authorities. The suspect was carrying about $11 million worth of cocaine, Lansing police said. What aroused the ticket agent’s suspicions? Oh, just a couple of things. The man had bought a ticket so that, three hours after he landed in Lansing, he could board a flight back to L.A. And he was carrying three bags.

miscelLAny:

A Beaverton, Ore., company is marketing a $19.95 furry animal toy that wears a badge saying, “My Name is El Nino. You can blame everything on me.” The battery-operated doll is a motion detector that “emits a ‘wolf’ whistle . . . when anyone or anything crosses his path.” The maker calls El Nino “a rascal . . . everyone loves him!” I’m not sure Southern Californians would love anything called El Nino.

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.