Blood, Gore, Death, in the Children’s Hour

Spiderman had just started on Channel 11, the Fox affiliate, Thursday afternoon when a chiron--that’s what they call the words that roll along the bottom of the screen--flashed across the Webhead’s face. “Program Advisory,” it warned. It went on to explain that the following news might be upsetting to children and if they watched they should do so “with an adult’s supervision.”

Uh-huh. Like most cartoon-watchers read that fast--or pay attention to anything other than the fact that their ‘toons have been interrupted. So it’s probably safe to assume that few ran to grab their parents for an explanation--if their parents were at home--and it’s even safer to say that the subsequent footage gave them a wilder ride than Spiderman ever could have.

If you were at home and watching, you saw a helicopter camera shot of the 110 and 105 freeway intersection, eerily empty like Dodge City at high noon. Then you’d have seen a lone gray Toyota pickup, with something that looked like a rifle or shotgun in its flatbed and a dog in the passenger seat. Behind the truck was a homemade sign, navy blue, with big white letters painted on it: “HMOs are in it for the money! Live free, love safe or die.”

You’d have seen a frail-looking blond man in shorts and hiking boots totter over and carefully stretch the sign out, then turn and give the nearby police the universal jerk-off symbol. (Try asking Mom and Dad about that, boys and girls.)

Then, as anchor Tony Valdez had a leisurely conversation with the press liaison for the California Highway Patrol, you’d have gasped as the gray truck burst into flame (cool special effects, right?) and watched, fascinated, as the blond man staggered from the fiery truck. Maybe a few kids giggled when he kicked off his burning shorts and climbed, without shorts or briefs, onto a concrete railing, clearly deciding whether to jump. (Can you hear teens urging him on, the way crowds sometimes do? “Jump, dude!”) They probably sobered quickly when they realized the dog had been fried.

Finally, you’d watch as the man climbed down, with some difficulty, lurched to the truck, removed the gun and, on camera, put it in his mouth and pulled the trigger, while his head exploded all over the screen.

Pretty major, huh?

And totally unnecessary. Real news has started to resemble the gory reenactments on so-called reality shows, and we are all the poorer for it. It would have been enough to report on this tragedy after the fact and to place things in perspective: The police blocked off huge sections of the highway for motorists’ safety; the agitated truck driver had five gallons of gasoline; he threatened to jump, then shot himself. His dog died. What is added by covering this live, in living color? Who gained by watching that crazed individual place the long barrel of a shotgun in his mouth and explode his head (big flap of skin, red spray, bone fragments, the whole deal) all over the freeway?

It continues, of course, because news is an ever more competitive business. And because all of us sit and allow it to continue. Other networks may have aired the grisly suicide, but apparently only Fox did so during programming specifically aimed at children. I hope Fox receives an avalanche of outraged mail, so many calls that the lines are jammed and heat from their advertisers. To do this in prime time is bad enough; to do it when children, for better or worse, are home watching television, often alone, is unconscionable.

Send those cards and letters, folks. Heads should roll, preferably off camera.