Conservative Leader’s Aunt Wins Lottery

Something has finally gone right for Conservative Party leader William Hague: His aunt has scooped the jackpot in Britain’s National Lottery. The organizers of the game said Marjorie Longdin, 73, from near Doncaster in south Yorkshire was one of four people who each won $1.43 million. Hague, struggling to revive the Conservatives’ political fortunes, said he was delighted for his aunt but did not expect her to help bail out the debt-ridden party with her newfound wealth. “We don’t expect to see any of the money from Auntie Marjorie, but I think I’ll ask her to fill in my lottery forms in the future,” he told reporters.