These Selections Are Guaranteed to Bowl You Over

If daily journalism is the first draft of history, the following bowl projections are relative rock carvings.

Mindful the slightest bowl championship series computer blip can rock the most well- intentioned bowl lineup asunder, this has not dissuaded your intrepid prognosticator from taking a whack at the holiday matchups.

This exercise comes attached with more warnings than a carton of cigarettes. It is intended for recreational use only. Do not operate heavy machinery while reading. Keep out of the reach of children. And do not indulge if taking prescription medication.

Of course, we assume the current BCS rankings will hold and presume the weekend losses of Notre Dame, Miami, Mississippi and Arizona State.

In other words: If you book travel plans based on these educated guesses, well, silly you.

That covers the disclaimers.

Here’s the rundown with the usual running commentary.

Fiesta: UCLA-Tennessee. In the BCS race, take the Bruins and the (computer) points over Kansas State.

Sugar: Kansas State-Ohio State. This is a game K-State would never schedule on its own.

Orange: Florida State-Syracuse. This assumes Miami loses a heartbreaker to Syracuse on Saturday.

Rose: Arizona-Wisconsin. Wasn’t Arizona’s win over Arizona State tomorrow exciting?

Citrus: Florida-Michigan. Soft-spoken Steve Spurrier meets Lloyd “the Lip” Carr.

Peach: Kentucky-Virginia. A gathering of genteel southern programs.

Outback: Georgia-Penn State. Joe Paterno would be in a better bowl if he had Georgia’s quarterback.

Motor City: Marshall-Louisville. This game goes together like motor oil and vinegar.

Gator: Georgia Tech-Notre Dame. Irish use their get-out- of-BCS-jail-free card.

Holiday: Nebraska-Oregon. Cornhuskers win by six touchdowns . . . last year.

Insight.com: Miami-Missouri. Epic battle involving Sunshine and Show-me states.

Music City: Virginia Tech- Alabama. Nashville elevator operators wanted to call it the Muzak City Bowl.

Aloha: Air Force-Washington. It’s a money-loser, but the Force can save air fare by flying themselves to the islands.

Oahu: Colorado-Mississippi. Winner takes home the William Faulkner Cup?

Alamo: Purdue-Texas A&M.; Can Drew Brees knock the wind out of the Aggie defense?

Sun: USC-Virginia Tech. Trojans are also being considered for the Holiday Bowl.

Las Vegas: San Diego State- Miami of Ohio. This is a shameless plug for the bowl-worthy 10-1 RedHawks.

Micron PC: North Carolina State-Central Florida. Last chance to see Daunte Culpepper, the best quarterback in Florida.

Liberty: Tulane-Brigham Young. You can book this trip, this game’s a done deal.

Cotton: Texas-Arkansas. Game most valuable player to be awarded new car by former Southwest Conference booster.

Independence: Mississippi State-Texas Tech. One year after staging Notre Dame-LSU, it’s mediocre bowl business as usual.

Humanitarian: Idaho-Southern Mississippi. Question: Why? Answer: The Big West champ has to play somebody, somewhere.

MIAMI, SOUND MACHINE

Miami is back and, boy, is UCLA thrilled.

With UCLA and Kansas State locked in a computer race for the No. 2 BCS spot, the Bruins’ chances of staving off the competition might rest in the fact Miami could be 8-2 when the schools play Dec. 5. Miami (7-2) plays at Syracuse on Saturday for the Big East title.

Miami’s upcoming boost to UCLA’s BCS strength-of-schedule ranking might prove to be the decimal-point difference in landing the Bruins in the Fiesta Bowl.

Of course, if Miami is so good that it defeats UCLA, none of this is helpful.

Bowl talk aside, Miami’s return to prominence has been an improbable surprise.

Consider the depths of despair: Miami finished 5-6 last year, its first losing season since 1979, thanks in large part to 1995 NCAA sanctions that stripped the school of 31 scholarships.

The once-proud Hurricanes, winners of four national titles since 1983, became the target of scorn. During a loss to West Virginia last year, a chartered plane buzzed the Orange Bowl with a tailing banner that read: “From National Champs to National Chumps.”

Butch Davis, hired in scandal aftermath, brought law and order to a renegade program, but he soon found out Miami fans preferred banners to Boy Scouts.

Miami closed out last year with a 33-13 home loss to Syracuse.

“I look back and think that maybe before you can start to climb upward, you have to maybe hit rock bottom,” Davis said this week. “Maybe last year was rock bottom.”

The good news: Because of scholarship restrictions, Davis had to play first-year players who have become major contributors this year--receivers Reggie Wayne and Santana Moss, and defenders Damione Lewis and Nate Webster.

Quarterback Scott Covington, who almost left the program in 1996, stuck it out long enough to reap the rewards.

With NCAA restrictions over, Miami signed 25 recruits for the first time in three years.

“A lot of kids made huge sacrifices, in a lot of areas--football, academics and personally--to help in the restoration of this program,” Davis said.

And what of Miami’s bad-boy image?

This week, Miami players delivered 75 Thanksgiving turkeys to the homeless.

THORNY ISSUES

The Rose Bowl would prefer not to match Ohio State, Florida State or Notre Dame against Wisconsin in its Jan. 1 game.

“I’d say it’s pretty unlikely, because of our tradition of an East Coast-West Coast game,” Rose Bowl chief executive officer Jack French said this week.

That sounds nice, but the Rose Bowl may have no choice.

If UCLA ends up in the Fiesta Bowl, the Rose will pounce on an 11-1 Arizona, which has never played in the Rose Bowl game and has 38,000 alums in Southern California.

But what if Arizona loses to Arizona State on Friday?

“I don’t know,” French said.

Here’s the decision: If No. 1 Tennessee and No. 2 UCLA are lost to the Fiesta, the Sugar Bowl gets the first pick of available schools and would no doubt select an unbeaten Kansas State.

Then, it’s the Rose Bowl’s pick. Does it take two-loss Arizona over Florida State, Notre Dame or Ohio State?

“We’re not going to have that many choices,” French said.

The Pac-10 is waging an all-out lobbying campaign on Arizona’s behalf.

But, in the end, isn’t business always business?

ARE WE NO. 1?

Playoff proponents clamoring for BCS chaos should be heartened by Kansas State’s No. 1 position in this week’s ESPN/USA Today coaches’ poll.

Why?

To show solidarity for the new bowl championship series, the coaches agreed to award-- hmmmmm, or did they agree?-- their national title trophy to the winner of the Fiesta Bowl.

Slight problem: If the Fiesta Bowl kicked off today, the coaches would have to crown the winner of Tennessee-UCLA.

Amazingly, some coaches are not even aware of this potential embarrassment.

“That went over my head,” Baylor Coach Dave Roberts said this week. “That may be. I missed it.”

Missouri Coach Larry Smith, on the other hand, is already in damage-control mode.

“The coaches didn’t commit to it,” Smith said of the agreement. “It’s my understanding that it’s a commitment of athletic directors. I don’t think any coaches could agree to that if we had it our way.”

Alas, hope is not lost for Kansas State should it remain No. 1 in the coaches’ poll but not earn a Fiesta Bowl berth.

Get this: the coaches’ No. 1 school could end up winning the Associated Press writers’ title.

The AP voters, those shrewd devils, agreed to no such BCS deal and will crown their champion independent of the Fiesta Bowl result.

Follow along here: Tennessee, Kansas State and UCLA are ranked one-two-three in this week’s AP poll. If No. 3 UCLA beats No. 1 Tennessee in the Fiesta Bowl, and No. 2 Kansas State destroys its Sugar Bowl opponent, it figures Kansas State would win the AP title.

But then, writers were always smarter than coaches, right?

TWO-MINUTE DRILL

* Thanks for playing along, Tulane, but despite your 10-0 record, you’ve just been released from consideration for a BCS bowl game. The official word came Tuesday via fax. Tulane, which has played a schedule that makes Kansas State’s look like a gantlet, has never been a serious contender and the BCS decision allows the Green Wave to start making Liberty Bowl plans.

* Kentucky junior quarterback Tim Couch says he’ll wait until after his team’s bowl game to decide whether to make himself available for next year’s NFL draft. The new Cleveland franchise has the first pick, prompting sage advice from Kentucky Coach Hal Mumme. “I told Tim, ‘They might give you a lot of money, but it’s still Cleveland.’ ”

* The media are often criticized for insensitivity when covering tragic events, but Mumme praised the press for its restraint in chronicling the Nov. 15 truck accident that killed a Kentucky player and Couch’s best friend. “We’re most appreciative of the way you all showed a lot of compassion to the team,” Mumme told reporters after Saturday’s loss to Tennessee. “It’s a tribute to your profession.”

* This has not been a memorable year for Penn State. In three games against the Big Ten’s best--Ohio State, Michigan and Wisconsin--the Nittany Lions were outscored, 79-12.

* Kansas State has no gripe if it loses out to UCLA in the BCS computer. The Wildcats’ three nonconference opponents-- Indiana State, Northern Illinois and Northeast Louisiana--are a combined 4-21. UCLA’s three nonconference opponents-- Miami, Houston and Texas--are 17-13. Had Kansas State bought out one of those nonconference weaklings--trust us, this can be done--and substituted only a mediocre Division I-A school, say a Wake Forest or a California, Kansas State might not be in this BCS fix.