Courts Shouldn’t Get Soft on Abuse

* I read with great interest the Aug. 30 Orange County Voices article (“Family Violence Solutions Can Be Adaptable”) by Judge Eileen C. Moore.

As a psychotherapist in private practice, I also counsel residents at a battered women’s shelter in Orange County as well as lecture in high schools on the subject of teen dating violence.

I was amazed to read some of the judge’s comments regarding battering relationships and the batterer himself. Her assertions that some within the legal system are upset because the batterer is treated the same whether he beats his wife once or on multiple occasions speaks to the common misconception that a battery is often an isolated incident, that somehow his hand accidentally flew up and hit her without forethought. In fact, where there is a first incident of physical violence, there have usually been years of emotional and verbal assault and possibly sexual abuse as well.

Further, Judge Moore suggests new laws allowing the batterer and judge to “speak frankly about the problem and the approach to be taken.” This might work if we failed to realize that more than 85% of batterers are chronic substance abusers--most notably crystal meth and alcohol--and it is not possible to speak in an intelligent manner to an abuser.

Let us not forget the children in the relationship who have suffered tremendous emotional trauma by witnessing the abuse. Let us also not forget that in 75% of the cases in which a woman is abused, so are the children. To place family reunification at the forefront of the list of concerns in these cases is frankly ludicrous.

In closing, it is important to remember that domestic violence is a learned behavior and a choice, not a disease. Our first concern must always be the physical and emotional safety of the women and children horribly traumatized by the batterer, not his “feelings.”

JILL KAPLAN

Laguna Niguel