Adoptive Parents of Chinese Girls Reunite

There was an unmistakable twinkle in Dawn Sumner’s eyes as the Mission Viejo mother, daughter Abigail in her arms, watched seven girls and their parents playing in her backyard Saturday.

Not since that long airplane ride to China three years ago, a time when each adoptive parent’s heart was filled with anticipation, had Sumner seen all the parents together.

The occasion was a reunion attended by eight of 11 families thrown together by chance, with only an adoption agency and a dream in common. Since that day, “we’ve become like a big family,” Sumner said.

Under blue skies, girls and parents from across the country played and talked. The girls took turns on a swing set and inside a playhouse. Sometimes they shared toys. Sometimes they didn’t. But there was always a peaceful coexistence despite fragile little egos and tiny-tot jealousies.

Maria Ballou of Columbus, Ohio, said that when her daughter Nora, 3, saw all the other girls, she quickly looked at her mother and sternly said, “You can’t be anyone else’s mommy!”

The adults feel they share a special place in the ranks of adoptive parents. Unlike other couples who are unable to conceive and wish to rescue children from wars in Eastern European countries or poverty and starvation in Third World nations, Sumner said, none among them “went to ‘save’ a child.”

“We went to create a family,” she said.

Under China’s policy of limiting couples to one child to help control the birthrate in a country of 1.2 billion, many Chinese are abandoning infant daughters.

“In China, they feel that the boys can get a good job or make enough money to support a family and also the elders,” said Sumner’s husband, Scott Titmas.

“They don’t believe girls have that chance. Abby was found abandoned on the doorstep of a senior center in the Fujian province.”

The parents paid an average of $15,000 through an adoption agency in Oregon that handles international adoptions.

Frank and Lisa Vicidomina of New Orleans said they turned to the agency after being told that it could take five to 10 years to adopt a baby born in the United States.

“From the time we filled out an application to the time we got Torie, it was 11 months,” said Lisa Vicidomina. “It’s not cheap, but it’s worth it.”

She said they had a list of countries to choose from, including Brazil, Romania and China. The wait for a Brazilian baby was long, and they had heard negative comments about Romania.

“So we decided to pick China,” she said.

They are raising their daughter as a typical “all-American” girl. She loves Mickey and Minnie Mouse and for Christmas told her parents she wanted a Barbie doll.

“She loves TV, French fries and chicken nuggets,” her mother said.

At first, the couple said, they were concerned about what others might think of a non-Asian couple raising a Chinese daughter. But Torie’s father said it hasn’t been an issue.

“It’s heightened our awareness of Chinese culture,” he said, “but the most remarkable thing is that this isn’t that remarkable. We knew we would love her.”

The couple have since created a Louisiana chapter of Families With Children From China, a national support group for adoptive parents.

At the reunion there were coloring books of ducks and chickens in English and Chinese.

A big cake decorated in a “Mulan” movie theme bore the words “Gung Hay Fat Choy” in frosting to mark the upcoming Chinese New Year.

Debbie Hennage of Virginia was among those in attendance. Her husband, David, couldn’t make the trip to Southern California because of his job.

Instead, Hennage invited her father, who helped take care of 3-year-old Grace Xiao Ping Hennage.

Hennage recalled that when she returned from China with Grace, it seemed all of her hometown of Montross, Va., population 500, turned out.

“People were following us in their cars as we went down Main Street,” she said.

One of the most touching moments, Hennage said, came when her father, Charles Venne, 67, met his new granddaughter at the airport: “As he held her, he turned around quickly and started crying. Then he looked at Grace and said, ‘Honey, it’s funny. You had to go halfway around the world to get a daughter who looks like me.’ ”