He Sure Could Get a Leg Up on Them

The death of former KROQ and KRTH voice Steve Lundy prompted a former colleague, Paul Van House, to relate this story on an Internet radio newsgroup:

“When he was working in L.A., Steve had a beach house, and was always annoyed when he’d try to go into the water and there would be people all around his house. So Steve, who had a prosthetic leg, would wade out to waist-deep water, remove his leg, scream ‘Shark! Shark!’ as loud as he could, then come hopping out on his good leg, carrying the fake one in his arms. He said it never failed to clear the beach.”

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MULTICULTURAL STEW: Alan Frisbie of Glendale found some down-home Southern Middle Eastern fare while NBC’s Jim Brown came upon just the place for Swedish pizza (see photos).

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THEATER-GOERS IN THE DARK: During the first intermission of the World War II-themed version of the ballet “Cinderella,” writer Judy Browning heard an Ahmanson Theater-goer say to her two preteen daughters, “Well, there’s not much action, but the dancing’s great.”

Added Browning: “I have a collection of ‘Dumb Things I Have Heard at the Theater.’ This one ranks right up there with the gorgeous blond who said of Richard Chamberlain’s portrayal of Cyrano de Bergerac: ‘That was so good. I think it was the acting.’ ”

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THIS IS A CONDENSED ITEM: Stan Kelton saw this sign in a Huntington Beach store: “ ‘Cliff’s Notes’ are NOT returnable.”

Asks Kelton: “You don’t mean to say that the type of student who would cut corners by using ‘Cliff’s Notes’ rather than reading the assigned book would also be the type to buy something, use it, and then return it for a refund?”

Shocking, I agree.

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HERE’S A REAL HOWL: For those who wonder whether “Tarzan” star Johnny Weissmuller’s ape-man yell was the real thing, retired newsman Bill Keene writes: “I had the pleasure of playing golf with Johnny at Gilman Hot Springs in a celebrity tournament in the ‘60s (the year, not our golf scores). I asked about the yell as we were waiting at a tee. He let it resound, and we later heard that he ruined several putts, a few drives and not a few delicate psyches as his blood-curdling scream echoed across the course. It was live, not recorded, not amplified--and humongous.”

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THE 21ST CENTURY, ACCORDING TO HOLLYWOOD: How some recent movies forecast the future for Southern California:

* 2013--A 9.6 quake and tidal wave have turned most of L.A. into an island while the Valley has really seceded--having become the San Fernando Sea (“Escape from L.A.”). Oddly enough, the Coliseum is still standing.

* 2019--Beach weather is a thing of the past and killer androids are everywhere (“Blade Runner”). But no sign of killer bees.

* 2032--San Angeles (the former L.A.) is a place where touching is forbidden, every restaurant is a Taco Bell and there’s an Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Museum (“Demolition Man”).

* 2047--A quake and tidal wave submerge Venice and all its skateboard paths (TV’s “Star Trek: Voyager”).

* 2191--L.A., now known as Mega City 2, is encircled by a wall more than 2,000 feet high (anything to keep the Raiders from coming back) (“Judge Dredd”).

miscelLAny:

Now-defunct Great Western Savings may have been swallowed by Washington Mutual, but I’m going to keep calling the current home of the Lakers and Kings the Great Western Forum. Of course I’m a sentimental guy.