LAUGH LINES

Well, Donald?: “There are still many questions to be answered about Donald Trump’s candidacy. What, if anything, is his foreign policy? What are his plans for education? How does he get that funky forehead comb-over to defy gravity?” (Alex Kaseberg)

A Sense of Decorum: Martha Stewart’s company went public recently. “Martha’s stock is a little different. Instead of placing a buy order with a broker, you have to send an engraved invitation to the New York Stock Exchange and politely invite shares to join your portfolio.” (Kaseberg)

On the Campaign Trail: “In his third bid to become president, Pat Buchanan has bolted from the Republican Party to the Reform Party. For his fourth bid, he plans to join the I’ll Be Elected When Pigs Fly Party.” (Gary Greenfield)

Tough Conditions: Pete Rose is among the century’s top 100 baseball players. “He was banned from baseball for betting and has asked for reinstatement several times. Commissioner Bud Selig says he won’t consider reinstatement until Rose confesses, apologizes and gets a decent haircut.” (Ira Lawson)

Happy Birthday: “Toastmasters is 75 years old. I’m speechless.” (Gary Easley)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.