Hitting the Trail

While the Portland Trail Blazers were setting up a trade that could turn them into champions, the Lakers were setting up Klieg lights.

While the Trail Blazers were rebuilding a roster, the Lakers were rebuilding a carpeted fashion runway.

While the Trail Blazers were turning up the heat, the Lakers were turning up the music.

While the Trail Blazers were reportedly acquiring Scottie Pippen, the Lakers were acquiring . . .

Jay Mohr?

It looked that way when the comedian strolled through a Beverly Hills sporting goods store modeling the purple road version of the Lakers’ kind-of-new uniforms.

“Yeah, they signed me,” he said. “They needed a slow, white guy. They needed somebody Benoit Benjamin can beat up and down the floor.”

After him came Dyan Cannon, perky in her home golds.

“People don’t really look at the uniforms anyway, they are too busy looking at the player’s cute little tushes,” she said. “They don’t see the uniforms, they see the hunk.”

Then there was Derek Fisher, who was either kind enough or paid enough to agree to model his own uniform.

“They’re nice, but I’m not sure we’re going to win any more games because of these,” he said sheepishly.

You think?

A couple of days before the start of training camp, the new Lakers made a public appearance next door to the restaurant where, last season, Dennis Rodman made his famously profane, tearful public appearance.

Compared to this, Rodman delivered a regular Gettysburg Address.

This was hyped as a uniform change. Except for a stripe and a collar flap, the uniforms are the same.

“I don’t think they look any different, but they gave me a free one,” Mohr said.

This was also sold as a fashion show. But standing in the back, that noted fashion critic Mr. Blackwell looked faint.

“This thing cost me five dollars to park?” he said. “I want my money back.”

The moderator claimed that the new, lighter uniforms will offer the Lakers a “change in performance and comfort.”

Up north, the Trail Blazers were preparing to give their fans the same thing.

Only it wasn’t in a fabric, it was in a forward.

Instead of talking about “wish-bone necklines,” the Trail Blazers were talking about veteran leadership.

Instead of thinking about a “gusset”--I’m quoting directly from the Laker press release here, I have no idea what it is, the word frightens me--the Trail Blazers are thinking about a title.

“I think, mentally, because of Phil Jackson, our team is better right now,” Fisher said.

Great. But, like the old cliche, they don’t play the games on psychiatrists’ couches.

Have the Lakers improved enough on the floor to win the West?

The answer, right now, is no.

They are no better then last year, while the Trail Blazers are suddenly much better, and the San Antonio Spurs are a year older, and I still want to know who is going to guard Tim Duncan.

The proximity of Friday’s fashion show here with the reported trade in Portland was--and I stole this phrase from our fashion section--sleekly chic.

While the Trail Blazers are flexing their muscles, the Lakers were popping their flashbulbs.

While other teams are moving forward, the Lakers have climbed on the legend of Phil Jackson, from where they are standing perfectly still.

It is not enough.

They need another power forward. They blew it by not signing Charles Oakley.

They need a smarter floor presence to help run Jackson’s triangle. They will blow it if they don’t acquire Pippen.

This is not written with gestures or glares toward the person this space usually gestures and glares at. Right now, how can anybody be mad at Jerry Buss?

He paid big money to bring in the game’s best coach after his customers demanded it. He brought back fan favorite A.C. Green. He is moving his team into a beautiful new arena.

After overseeing what longtime employees called the most miserable year in Laker history, Buss has seemed intent on restoring their glory and his reputation.

But the job is not finished.

Despite Friday’s trade, the Lakers still have a chance to get Pippen for Glen Rice, Robert Horry and Travis Knight.

It is a deal they should make.

Certainly, $54 million for four more years is a lot to hand somebody who will be 37 when that contract is finished.

And, yes, Pippen was stopped cold by Kobe Bryant for much of last year’s playoffs, looking old and tired and bored.

But Jackson wants him.

And if you are handing Jackson all that money, shouldn’t you also hand him your trust?

And how long do you think it will take for Rice to become unhappy that he is not the offensive star?

In last year’s playoffs against Houston, it took, what, two games? Pippen looked awful with the Rockets. He has looked wonderful with Jackson. You do the math.

Some might say, wait a minute, if Jackson is such a savior, he shouldn’t need to bring in any more players, he should win with what he has.

Except Jackson, who was one Pippen tantrum from perhaps going to the NBA finals without Michael Jordan, wins because he knows exactly what he needs.

And that doesn’t include a new DRI-FIT fabric, or new armholes, or new “gripper” elastic waistband.

By the time Friday ended, there was only one uniform that anybody in the NBA was talking about.

It was black, red and white, and said “Blazers.”

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Bill Plaschke can be reached at his e-mail address: bill.plaschke@latimes.com.