Father Knows Worst When It Comes to Raiders

Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune writing on last Sunday’s game between the Bears and Raiders in Oakland:

“On a day dedicated by the Raiders to ‘tackling responsible fatherhood,’ one dad painted his toddler’s hair silver with a black stripe down the middle. He handed him a small hatchet, which the boy waved at the Bears as they trudged, defeated again, under the stands to the locker room.

“One wonders if the Raiders had lost if the proud and responsible papa might not have thrown his child, weapon first, at the winners. That would no doubt make him Responsible Raider Dad of the Week.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for most passes thrown in a game without an interception?

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Good old days: Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “The Devil Rays’ 6-5 win over the Yankees Sunday lasted precisely four hours. Hard to believe, but the Giants once played a nine-inning game that lasted 51 minutes.

“Eighty years ago [Tuesday], the New York Giants had 13 hits and beat the Phillies, 6-1, in the shortest nine-inning game in major league history. Aren’t modern players supposed to move faster?”

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Be thankful: From MSNBC’s Michael Ventre: “Whenever I’m tempted to grouse about the hype surrounding another Sammy Sosa-Mark McGwire home run chase, I remind myself that it could be Albert Belle and Juan Gonzalez.”

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Nice ring to it: Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “The Padres are seeking ‘title sponsorship’ to their entire 2000 season, according to SportsBusiness Journal.

“How would that work exactly? The Sam’s Pizza and Massage Parlor San Diego Padres?”

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Flushed season: Woody Paige of the Denver Post on the Broncos:

“The Broncos haven’t been this dreadful since the 1960s when they wore their original predominately ugly uniforms. Who wanted to spend Super Bowl week in Atlanta, anyway? The Broncos are greasy and Griese. And this year’s in the toilet.”

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Stop it! From comedy writer Jerry Perisho: “A Pennsylvania woman purchased baseball player Ty Cobb’s dentures for $7,475 through a Sotheby’s auction. She said she always wanted a little plaque of a Hall of Famer.”

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Vicious! Some more European trashing of the Ryder Cup scene: The Glasgow Herald referred to the U.S. as a place where ‘Neanderthal man, camouflaged in Bermuda shorts, still stalks the land and clearly takes time off supporting the gun lobby to take verbal aim at visiting golfers.”

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Trivia answer: Drew Bledsoe of New England, 70, in an overtime game against Minnesota on Nov. 13, 1994.

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And finally: Bob Kravitz in the Rocky Mountain News: “Is the Mastermind [Mike Shanahan] quite so masterly when he doesn’t have a certain Hall of Famer behind center?

“Or might it be that he’s just another very good football coach who, like the Jets’ Bill Parcells and the Falcons’ [Dan] Reeves, can’t win without their big-time starting quarterbacks?”