. . . And Now for the Really Important News

Somebody’s going to think that I’ve got it in for Channel 4 news. I do not. Somebody might suspect that I’m carrying a grudge of some kind against KNBC-TV. I am not.

On the contrary, as I have written here before, Channel 4 is usually my local TV news channel of choice. I have nothing against Channels 2, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13 or any other. I’m just in the habit of getting my late-night TV news from Channel 4.

If Fritz Coleman tells me it’s going to snow 20 inches in Anaheim tomorrow, I believe him. If my old friend Fred Roggin tells me Tiger Woods is quitting golf to buy a bowling alley, I believe him.

I trust Channel 4 news.

Anchor people such as Paul Moyer and Colleen Williams are a couple of seasoned professionals, so when they instruct me to tune in every night for “continuing coverage” of Decision 2000--the big battle between Vice President Gore and Almost President Bush-- then by golly, I’m tuning.

Because, as I’ve pointed out, the 11 o’clock news for me--and for hundreds of thousands of Californians--is the first chance all day to catch up with today’s events on TV.

So, what was Wednesday’s top story?

Somebody came after David Spade with a stun gun.

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Never mind the presidential election. Never mind a possible cure revealed for the plague-like Ebola virus. That could wait.

Somebody came after David Spade with a stun gun.

You might have missed this huge story, if you got your evening news from Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, Peter Jennings or Bernard Shaw, or only from your morning newspaper. You might have missed the shattering details of this senseless tragedy that Channel 4 led its 11 p.m. newscast with, this story that affected lives of human beings from Burbank to Zimbabwe.

Somebody came after David Spade with a stun gun.

Oh, eventually Channel 4 did get around to letting us know that Vice President Gore was counting on a convoy of ballots that was rolling up the highway to Tallahassee like 16-wheelers haulin’ hogs to Omaha, and that Almost President Bush was organizing his “transition team” while Almost Vice President Cheney was making appearances on practically every TV program not starring David Spade.

First and foremost, though, before a word about that stale subject, Channel 4 began its evening news with the really big news.

Somebody came after David Spade with a stun gun.

You might recall that a few weeks ago, Los Angeles’ NBC affiliate led with Elvis Presley’s ex-wife’s automobile getting hit by another driver’s automobile. I wrote about that, whereupon several hundred e-mailers told me that they too had been somewhat astounded by Channel 4’s breathless coverage of Priscilla Presley’s injured car.

Many of them asked me to keep on KNBC’s case. But I’ve been reluctant, because, for all I know, Channel 4 will win an Emmy Award for “Best Coverage of a Celebrity’s Car Getting Hit,” making me feel foolish and petty.

Then came the David Spade stun-gun drama.

An actor on NBC’s “Just Shoot Me”--and I’m sure it’s a complete coincidence that his show airs on Channel 4--Spade, 36, apparently had an intruder Wednesday morning at his Beverly Hills home. A 911 call at 6:22 a.m. reported a burglary in progress.

Later, a 29-year-old guy identified as an employee of Spade’s was arrested and slapped with a couple of charges, including assault with a stun gun. His own stun gun? Spade’s stun gun? How stunned was Spade? Did he beg the guy: “Just stun me?” I don’t know.

I do know Spade’s a popular TV star. But he apparently wasn’t seriously hurt. And his break-in wasn’t exactly “breaking news,” since it happened nearly 17 hours before the 11 o’clock newscast.

Yet it led L.A.’s evening news.

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I found it in the next day’s Times in the middle of Page B4, next to a story about a schoolteacher who allegedly suffocated a rabbit. I found it in the Los Angeles Daily News in the middle of Page A8, two whole paragraphs’ worth.

I searched a copy of USA Today from beginning to end, but found nothing. When USA Today misses a story involving a celebrity, you know it can’t be much of a story.

Tune in tonight, with more continuing coverage of Vice President Gore’s attempt to prevent Almost President Bush from winning the most controversial election of our times and accepting the most important job in the world.

That’ll be the second story.

Prepare yourself for whatever comes first.

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Mike Downey’s column appears Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Write to: Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012. E-mail: mike.downey@latimes.com