It was a Loss of Titanic Proportions

Bernie Lincicome in the Chicago Tribune: “Disgraceful. Unconscionable. Bummer. Boy, are our faces red.

“Not only did the U.S. of A. fail to reach the America’s Cup [final] for the first time ever, but none of our boats brought back any fish.

“They’re dancing in the streets of Rome, at our expense. It doesn’t get any more shameful than this. Losing to Italy in a boat race. What’s next, losing at beach volleyball to Switzerland?”

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More boats: From Ken Ringle in the Washington Post: “The media rap against America’s Cup racing is that it’s boring. But how many network correspondents and producers and camera crews and anchor teams suddenly will discover its excitement when the race is held in Venice or Capri? Risotto al funghi and Chianti classico are much more exciting on expense accounts than kiwi pie.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NBA record for steals in one quarter?

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Disoriented: Gary Shelton of the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times: “One of the warning signs of cocaine abuse, as found out by Diego Maradona: When you take so much, you think going to Cuba for treatment is a good idea.”

Word from the wise: Talking about the Rams winning the Super Bowl, Bill Parcells said: “Once you win, it creates a whole new set of problems for you.

“There’s a lot of byproducts to this thing that are positive, but there are a lot of negatives too, like every player’s agent thinks his player is the reason the team won.”

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Devout Worm: Tim Cowlishaw of the Dallas Morning News had a conversation with Jenny J., reportedly a Los Angeles model-recording artist who once dated Dennis Rodman.

“He’s a totally different person from what people think,” she said. “He’s not that wild and crazy. But he does say the strangest things. . . . On our first date, he wanted to go to one of those religious shows and get healed.”

Time is on his side: Golfer-TV analyst Curtis Strange, who has called four of Tiger Woods’ six consecutive victories on ABC, says, “It’s too soon to say Tiger will be the greatest golfer ever, but all the records are in jeopardy but one--18 major championships won by Jack Nicklaus.”

Where’s Smith or Jones? The first three finishers in the women’s 60-meter dash at a track meet Wednesday in Athens were Sevatheda Fynes, Ekaterini Thanou and Susanphika Jayasinghe.

In the shotput, it was Navezhda Ostapchuk, Krystyna Zabawska and Yumileidis Kumba.

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Looking back: On this day in 1982, Moses Malone, playing with Houston, set an NBA record with 21 offensive rebounds against Seattle. The statistic has been compiled since the 1973-74 season.

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Trivia answer: Fat Lever of Denver, eight, against Indiana on March 9, 1985.

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And finally: Peter Ueberroth, the former baseball commissioner, played in Tiger Woods’ foursome Monday at Pebble Beach as the amateur partner of pro Jim Furyk.

“You could feel the electricity all the way around,” Ueberroth told Mark Purdy of the San Jose Mercury-News. “I was searching and trying to compare the feeling. I couldn’t. Right now, I think Tiger is the superstar of all sports. Is there anyone like him in any other sport right now?”