This Is a Story Worth Milking
Is there a pattern here? Several weeks ago, Paramount’s civic newsletter reported that some thieves saw an unmarked rig and stole it, figuring they might net some valuable merchandise. What they got was a load of oatmeal.
Now there’s been a similar theft in that city, this time of a trailer that turned out to be holding raisins.
Both the oatmeal and raisins were left behind by the discouraged crooks.
So, I guess anyone driving a milk tanker in the area can relax.
NOT-SO-HOT SPELLING: Robert Courting of La Quinta came upon an ad in the weekly that was probably supposed to say “forced air heater” (see accompanying).
ON A COLDER NOTE: An inside joke had e-mails flying and telephones buzzing in Hollywood. It was a small, unsigned ad in Daily Variety that said simply, “Ding Dong!” (see accompanying). Nothing else. It appeared after the departure of a much disliked television executive and was a reference to a song in “The Wizard of Oz.”
You know--”Ding Dong, the Witch Is Dead!”
METRIC MISCUE: Is this the new math? In Sequoia National Park, the Rev. Martin Benzoni of Huntington Beach noticed a mileage sign that said one quarter of a mile was equal to 0/4 kilometers (see photo). Makes zero sense, Rev. Benzoni pointed out.
ROCK & ROLL HIGH SCHOOL: “The 100 Greatest Songs of Rock & Roll,” a TV special airing Monday night on VH1, rates the Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” as No. 1. Several locals made the Top 100. Here they are (with their high schools in parentheses):
8. “Good Vibrations,” The Beach Boys--Brian and Dennis Wilson (Hawthorne), Mike Love (Dorsey).
12. “Louie Louie,” written by Richard Berry (Jefferson)--though, of course, no one can understand what the song says.
48. “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling,” the Righteous Brothers--Bobby Hatfield (Anaheim), Bill Medley (Santa Ana).
52. “Beat It,” Michael Jackson (Montclair Prep).
95. “Jump,” Van Halen--Eddie and Alex Van Halen (Pasadena), David Lee Roth (Muir, Pasadena), Michael Anthony (Arcadia).
98. “La Bamba,” Ritchie Valens (San Fernando).
99. “We’ve Only Just Begun,” the Carpenters--Karen and Richard Carpenter (Downey).
AS IF PCH DOESN’T HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS: Traffic was jammed on Topanga Canyon Boulevard, at Pacific Coast Highway, one morning because the signal for drivers on Topanga was green for intervals of just 20 seconds.
FOR YOUR “DUH” LIST: The Los Angeles Daily Journal reports that top honors in a “Wacky Warning Label Contest” went to the manufacturers of an iron that carried this label:
“Never iron clothes while they are being worn.”
Runner-up was a wheelbarrow with this warning: “Not for highway use.”
Of course, during some rush hours around here, a guy pushing a wheelbarrow might make better time than a motorist.
DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT GEOGRAPHY: William J. Thompson gives the L.A. Board of Education a bad mark for locating the Sherman Oaks Center for Enriched Studies in . . .
Reseda.
Why doesn’t Reseda get more respect?
I’m surprised “Free Fallin,’ ” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, didn’t make the top 100 list. That’s the song with the lyrics:
It’s a long day living in Reseda/There’s a freeway running through the yard/All the vampires walking through the Valley/Move west down Ventura Boulevard.
Face it--Reseda just can’t get no satisfaction.
miscelLAny:
Upon hearing a certain soft drink giant’s new slogan--”Coca Cola--Enjoy!”--KFWB’s Alan Mendelson said it reminded him of what his aunt used to say to him: “Gefilte fish--enjoy!”
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.
