LAUGH LINES

The Middle Ages: “After 10 seasons, the Fox network is canceling ‘Beverly Hills, 90210.’ The producers said in the final episode the characters will throw a big graduation/40th birthday party.” (Conan O’Brien)

Top of the Pops: “President Clinton commented on the Elian Gonzalez case. He said he is 99% sure he is not the father.” (Jay Leno)

Top of the Pops II: “The foundation that owns Thomas Jefferson’s home, Monticello, has acknowledged for the first time that Jefferson probably fathered at least one of the six children of his slave Sally Hemings. The real shocker? Two of the other children were fathered by David Crosby.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Whining and Dining: “They have a concierge at [Boston’s Logan] airport now, just like they do at fancy hotels. Well, thank God for that! I can’t tell you how many times I have been stuck at the airport wondering what kind of wine to have with my Cinnabon.” (Leno)

Grammer Lesson: “Kelsey Grammer is going to do a series of public service announcement on IBS, which is irritable bowel syndrome. Upon hearing about it, Bob Dole said there are certain things you shouldn’t talk about.” (O’Brien)