Oscar Voices

Actor for Hire

“I haven’t worked since I won the Academy Award [last year].”

JAMES COBURN

Arriving at the ceremony

Tempting Fate

“It’s not a good sign that I’m here. I come and I lose. Maybe I’ve done the full circle. Maybe it’ll change.”

MICHAEL CAINE

Noting before the show that he’d lost at the three previous Oscars he attended and won the one time he didn’t.

Family Plot

“How can this be an awards show when ‘The Sopranos’ isn’t nominated for anything?”

BILLY CRYSTAL

In opening film montage

No Callers

“[Laura Schlessinger] couldn’t be here tonight. She couldn’t get anyone in town to do her hair and makeup.”

BILLY CRYSTAL

Alluding to the recent controversy over her views on homosexuality

Sense for Talent

“Eleven years old. God, I’ve had movies in development longer than that.”

BILLY CRYSTAL

Talking about “Sixth Sense” nominee Haley Joel Osment

Swoon Time

“I’m surprised nobody’s ever fainted up here.”

ANGELINA JOLIE

Winning as supporting actress

‘Beauty’s’ Man

“This is the highlight of my day.”

KEVIN SPACEY

Winning the Oscar for best actor

Screen Saver

“Three things you learn when you start acting in films: Show up on time, know your lines, kiss up to the cinematographer.”

BRAD PITT

Introducing the cinematography nominees

Academy Spin

“I’ve been told this is the shortest Oscar show of this century. How about that?”

BILLY CRYSTAL

Concluding the four-hour telecast