Disgruntled Dodger Fans, You Are Not (M)Alone

I have been in voice contact with the Dodger bunker, although I was unable to speak directly with the Bobsey Twins and pass on your many comments and suggestions to team President Bob Graziano and Chairman Bob Daly.

This should make Dodger fans very nervous, of course, because this is not like Branch Rickey and Al Campanis swapping baseball strategy, these are the Bobsey Twins sitting all alone in the dark plotting the team’s future.

From what I understand, the guys have been waiting for Manager Davey Johnson to return from his fishing trip to make his dismissal formal later today. They fired him last week, but because they maintained all along they would make no decisions until after the season, they’ve had to fake it.

I hope Johnson caught the limit on his fishing excursion, because he’s going to have to deal with the fact “the big one got away,” now that it appears Kevin Malone will share none of the blame for the Dodgers failing to meet expectations.

As for you people, you must have nothing to do while waiting for the Bobsey Twins to emerge from behind closed doors, because you have come close to clogging the system with your e-mail.

From what I’ve read, Dodger fans have a disregard for the law as laid down by the Sheriff, and while no one suggested starting a “Davey Johnson Fan Club,” I’m not sure a card-carrying member of the Optimist Club thinks there is any benefit in keeping Malone.

It wasn’t easy to single out the e-mails that didn’t slam Malone, but here are a few that succeeded. And a couple that didn’t:

Mel B: “Johnson is a proven manager--what has Malone ever won?”

Daly’s ear.

Bill B: “After hearing Rick Dempsey on Dodger pregame shows, I think he might be another Mike Scioscia. He played under great managers, and I’m sure he wouldn’t sit there slack-jawed every time Eric Karros failed to leave the batter’s box when grounding out.”

I think what you’re trying to say is that the Dodgers should hire someone who is willing to kick his dog.

John: “Please pass on Showalter’s name to the Dodger brass.”

Will they know who you are talking about?

George: “It’s too bad that Malone wasn’t scheduled to go on that fishing trip to Cabo with Johnson. Throw in Daly and you’ve got your Gilligan Island replacements.”

I’m afraid if someone asked Malone, “Mary Ann or Ginger?” he’d want to make a trade for Mrs. Howell.

Michael H: “It’s Bobbsey, not Bobsey twins, and equating the quick-thinking juvenile detectives with the slow-witted Dodger executives is an insult to kids everywhere.”

It’s the Bobsey Twins. It’s my column.

Malibu: “I think it’s time to get rid of the organ player at Dodger Stadium. I’m serious. Those really happy sounds don’t build any intensity.”

Kevin Brown shares your opinion. During a game with Pittsburgh this year, Brown called the pressbox and screamed at the Dodger organist for playing the “Pirates of the Caribbean.”

C.P: “If your training as a journalist qualifies you to pontificate about L.A. sports, then the Bobsey Twins’ training in Hollywood and bean counting qualifies them to make baseball decisions. Trust me, no sportswriter is ever going to be general manager of the Dodgers. Oops--disregard that remark.”

I’d do it, as long as I had Brown’s approval.

Tomas: “If Malone had any integrity, he would resign immediately.”

No word from Malone.

Bill W.: “Do whatever it takes to get Dusty Baker. We already blew it with Scioscia. As for the Sheriff, what a crook. Bring in whomever gets along with Baker.”

A Sheriff, a Baker, what about a Bulldog?

Ralph: “What about Orel Hershiser as general manager?”

Copycat.

Doug J: “How about me? Johnson’s team finished second, and it has a payroll of $98 million. I coached my son’s T-ball team to second place with a payroll of $0. Who’s better at motivating?

Would you mind working off the T with F.P.?

Stephen: “If Karros doesn’t seem to care, why should I?”

You want to make that drive to Anaheim to watch baseball?

Bob G: “Malone is a joke, but a good politician. We need Bob Watson here in Los Angeles.”

And you know who managed the U.S. Olympic baseball team for Watson?

John J: “What about [Tom] Lasorda?”

Most of the Dodgers didn’t even get off their butts to honor Lasorda for bringing home a gold medal for their country--the only way Lasorda works is if he gets to keep his Olympic roster intact.

SKierstad: “I say Hoffman for manager.”

Given Daly’s movie acumen, I’m sure he has been in contact with Dustin.

Jeff G: “Mr. Daly, I defy you to name one positive thing Malone has done. If you keep him, once Vin Scully retires, you won’t draw two million to Chavez Ravine.”

It’s been rumored for some time that Fox wanted Daly to run their movie division--you don’t think bringing Malone back is some kind of Daly plot to drive people back into the theaters. . . .

Ted: “It would be nice if we had a manager who wasn’t a zombie on the bench, but they are still firing the wrong guy. Malone has to go. I didn’t attend a Dodger game for the first time in 16 years, and won’t be back.”

That’s one less person to stand behind in the concession lines.

Tim S: “The Giants are in the playoffs and the news keeps getting better--the Dodgers are going to keep Malone--so we’ll be back next season.”

Wouldn’t that be fitting--Malone throwing out the first pitch in Pacific Bell Park.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at his e-mail address: t.j.simers@latimes.com.