LAUGH LINES

For the Record: Al Gore visited a bookstore in Sarasota, Fla., recently. “Kind of an embarrassing moment while at the bookstore. . . . He went into the fiction section--and they had a copy of everything he’s said during the campaign.” (Jay Leno)

TV Values: “George W. Bush called for a nightly TV family hour stressing truth, sexual responsibility and family values. It sounds like a conspiracy. The Republicans are trying to get rid of Bill Clinton one hour at a time.” (Argus Hamilton)

Love Songs: “The Clintons celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary, singing to each other, ‘Unindictable, that’s what you are.’ ” (Bill Maher)

For Those Who Stray: “A new report says that men in their 60s are more likely to have affairs than men in their 20s. . . . I can just hear Frank Gifford now: ‘No, honey, it’s OK to leave for the week. . . . I’ll be fine. . . . I’m just taking part in a study about the elderly.’ ” (R.J. Johnson)

Doctor, Doctor: “NBC’s powerful Thursday night lineup returned. The season premiere of ‘Friends’ aired. ‘ER’ is back. . . . NBC is thinking of doing a spinoff about a group of doctors in a farming town. They’re calling it ‘E-R-E-I-O.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

Clinton the Cheerleader: “George W. Bush said, ‘How one conducts their sex life is their own personal business and nobody else’s. . . . Clinton was sitting at home going, ‘Yo, Bush. You are my man. Go with the Bushman!’ ” (Leno)

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