Bombastic, Insulting but Never Boring

Doctor, can you help?

I miss Bob Dornan.

Irrational, I know, but I miss everything: the bombast, the insults, the mile-a-minute tirades and his unspoken amazement that people like me just couldn’t grasp what he brought to the table.

I thought I’d be glad he was gone.

But now, with election day only two weeks away, something is missing in Orange County politics.

Call it a pulse.

This has got to be the sleepiest election season in my 14 years in Orange County. Is it just a coincidence that in 1986 Dornan was wrapping up his first term as local congressman, and every two years after that until now reappeared to trade shots with whichever Democrat (or occasional Republican) challenged him?

I don’t think so.

Oh, I occasionally see Dornan on a TV talk show trying to save the country from the liberal wretches bent on destroying our values. I could probably track him down and listen to that familiar, raspy voice on his national radio show. From his home in Virginia, I know he’s just a phone call away. I can always go to his bobdornan.com Web site. Someone said Dornan even mentions Orange County politics from time to time on his radio show.

But it’s just not the same as having him here in Garden Grove or wherever he called home when he had to hang out in Orange County to run for Congress.

In November 1998 he was finally knocked out in the 46th District by Loretta Sanchez, who had won a TKO in their first election in 1996. Dornan had spent much of 1997-98 trying to prove widespread Latino voter fraud but never made his case.

After that, everyone knew it was over for Dornan in Orange County. So he packed up his bags and headed east.

This time around, Sanchez is doing battle with Gloria Matta Tuchman. Yawn.

I bet Tuchman hasn’t said of Sanchez, as Dornan did in 1998: “Bring the darling little lady on.”

It’s not that ol’ B-1 Bob didn’t try to warn me. Almost every time I’d write a column knocking him for something (and there were quite a few), he’d be on the phone in a day or so telling me how misguided I was.

Secret Smiles

Now I find myself thinking: Could he have been right?

Was Bob Dornan a guilty pleasure? Did I (and others) pretend to be put off by him but secretly smile when he used language like “utterly, catatonically gutless” to describe certain national politicians in his own party?

No matter how uneventful other races were, a Dornan race percolated.

Naturally, there was always something juicy to write about. Who could forget Dornan’s 1998 depiction of President Clinton as a “degenerate, multiple-adulterer, serial liar”? Or the post-election shoving match between his supporters and those of U.S. Senate candidate Matt Fong, who thought Dornan was hogging the microphone?

Chapman University political science professor Fred Smoller agrees voter interest is lagging this year. “It seems to be taking its cue from the national level, and that’s unfortunate,” Smoller says.

When I suggest that Dornan might be just what’s missing, Smoller reacts as if I’d phoned in a bomb threat to his classroom.

“Rather than bringing Bob Dornan back in, why not bring back civic engagement?” Smoller asks. “Why not require civics classes?”

Serious issues are on local ballots, Smoller says. Voters seem unengaged, but the challenge is to get them involved.

“We don’t need a Bob Dornan,” Smoller says. “We need people who are going to say, ‘Listen, this stuff really does matter.’ That’s not flag waving, it’s the business of government. We have to pay taxes and pay attention every couple of years and hunker down and make tough choices.”

That’s the responsible thing to say. I should throw myself into the Tuchman-Sanchez race in the 46th or Kanel-Royce in the 39th.

And yet . . .

Instead, I tried to reach Dornan, but couldn’t. A spokesman at Talk Radio Network said he’d give him the message. He said Dornan is on the air 5 1/2 hours a day and on some 400 stations nationwide. He’s probably forgotten all about me.

I’m left with this: I’ll concede we don’t need a Bob Dornan.

But is it so wrong to miss him?

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821 or by e-mail to dana.parsons@latimes.com