LAUGH LINES

Truth and Politics: “I think we have come a long way as a country. . . . We’ve come from George Washington, who could not tell a lie . . . to Bill Clinton, who could not tell the truth . . . to Al Gore, who can’t tell the difference.” (Jay Leno)

No Star Appeal: “CBS and NBC won’t let their stars appear on the celebrity edition of ABC’s ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.’ . . . I know what you’re saying . . . ‘CBS still has stars?’ ” (Daily Scoop)

Know-It-All: “Al Gore [consulted] the White House about the terrorist attack on the USS Cole in Yemen. At least he knows where it is. George W. Bush thinks that Yemen can be found at the end of every hymn.” (Argus Hamilton)

Young at Heart: “Hugh Hefner has a new girlfriend. He dumped the twins. . . . This [new girlfriend] is a 22-year-old girl from Texas. What is he? 74? He’s at the awkward age between having a wandering eye and just wandering off.” (Leno)

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