LAUGH LINES

Needed: A Job: “There is all this controversy over Clinton’s office space. . . . Here is my question: Why does he even need an office? He doesn’t have a job. Shouldn’t you get a job first, then worry about an office? An office with no job? . . . It is like he’s vice president now.” (Jay Leno)

Two for Lunch: “Les Moonves, who is the president of the CBS television network . . . had a five-hour luncheon meeting with Fidel Castro. . . . This lunch must have been quite something. On the one hand, you have this ruthless dictator surrounded by sniveling yes men, and then on the other hand, of course, you have Fidel Castro.” (David Letterman)

Chew on This: “ ‘Hannibal’ is a huge hit. It isn’t lost on TV executives. . . . Don’t be surprised if in the next episode of ‘Survivor,’ instead of getting voted off the island, the loser gets voted onto the menu.” (Argus Hamilton)

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